


Orange Cut, Red Bleed

by Itachi_S_Lucius



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Drama, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fatherhood, Female Uzumaki Naruto, Hidden Truth, M/M, Maternal Instinct, Motherhood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2019-11-13 21:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18039557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itachi_S_Lucius/pseuds/Itachi_S_Lucius
Summary: Once more, what's one more failure?





	1. Shattered One, Two.

There was now in reality, through will lost was there a jutsu he could no longer bare to summon forth. A conception of his own broken mindset driving itself to force power, to crush and pierce all enemies who may dare confront him in battle. Admitting that it had been made in innocence was even more pathetic a realization. For while his reality had shattered several times within his life, as a young Jonin, even chunin, there was no way to find a happy ending. Now, he knew well enough through far to much experince he could hardly force his own proficancy. 

 

From his dreams, nightmares, he woke bloodsoaked with a pounding heart and screaming voice. Sometimes it was so routine that he did not notice that his own shouts or crying was broadcasting for all to hear. 

 

There were sometimes echos of the past speaking in his mind as taunt. As a seasoned shinobi he ignored this, and walked on. Any indication of reminder was throughly ignored, smothered and left to the night when it would plague him again. He reconginzed his own vulrablity, and in age, he knew that it would only get more vivid, not less as one would hope. 

 

Sometimes, like now. He would stare at the sky and ponder on circumstance, if his own decisions had actually made a difference or if it was merely designed to reach this path regardless. 

 

“Oh Kakashi.” He never expects to get interupted from his own mentality, yet it happens everytime he walks this particular road. Speaking of his own demeanor was the fact he always had the urge to ignore every greeting. Espically from the young woman who could always be found at the flower shop on Tuesdays. That is, before making quick pace to the graves. Kakashi knew that the strange, sweet girl was not threatening or unkind. But she was only talking to his own desolate figure because of some moral integrity ingrained into her. “How are you this morning?” She asked with a gentle smile that it reminded him of someone now lost.  

 

Kakashi made himself turn away from the simliar look, crawling in his own mind away from making a connection. He stears away from rememberence and any quandry unto his mental state that may arise. “Ah, I’m afraid I never asked your name, my apologies.” He obfuscates as best he can. Luckily enough for him a civilan doesn’t seem to understand the obvious tactic. Giving him a varient of his own closed-eye smile. 

 

“I’m Nari. I completely forgot I never entirely introduced myself. My bad!” Kakashi notes, for the first time that Nari-kun is actually rather energtic: moving about while she talked and gesturing slightly, a hand going up to rub at her neck. 

 

Perhaps because of the one night stand they’d shared making everything awkward, he hadn’t wanted to confront the woman directly. Although, he knew that wasn’t it, not entirely. Then again, Kakashi reflects, on what he knew, and what he had taken as fact from others. 

 

He and his comrades found that: Nari-kun examined things. Not as a civilian, nor as a shinobi, as if she knew people she’d plainly never met. Casting blue eyes, always seeking other familiar faces, and once they landed her face would light in some sort of memory that couldn’t have possibly been shared. 

 

For all his experince tainting his vision, he knew that this Nari was a strange girl indeed.

 

One not to understand but to merely accept unless situation proved necessary. All he could do was be reminded of times long past.

 

He recalled his rival -self proclaimed- Gai, speaking loudly unto his ears with a boisterous voice that could only be taken but wise even for a man of such idiocy. Perhaps he could attempt to socialize, at least unto those who gave him sweetened greeting. More so when they retained such indeviduality, matching his own. 

 

“Ma, I was wondering, about that one night...” He hadn’t but, he was putting out there as a chance to focus on anything else. 

 

He could barely remember anything from that evening anyway, just a beautiful woman walking him home, and then the private after party they’d both had accidentally. Details remained fogged over and very obstructed by alcohol and the want to forget everything and everyone failed. The only reason he knew it was Nari-san was because of her blood-red hair, starkly reminding him of Kushina’s. 

 

Nari’s of course differed -though Kakashi still suspected a relation to the Uzumaki clan, which may have been another reason for his avoidence.- Nari-san’s hair was slightly spiked, but only in the back at her ponytail, her bangs were as straight as a rod it was also really thick. Almost resembling Jiraiya-sama’s, if Jiraiya-sama had tied his hair in a high ponytail. Her eyes were wide and innocent, but not as the common citizen, both a bright sky blue as well as a deep ocean blue that captivated the stars. Knowledgeable in more things then the normal nine-to-five person would be aware of. Her skin tone was a tan, as Naruto’s.

 

Though Kakashi didn’t think of that. From what he could tell, she was maybe eighteen, judging by the mature structure of her face. Though, he knew that makeup may be fooling him in that regard. She wasn’t very tall either, though that hardly mattered, he couldn’t help but note he was at least four to five inches taller. 

 

“Are you heading anywhere today?” He looked to her, not having expected her to have noticed his own evaluation of his appearence. Maybe she hadn’t, he thought, for she didn’t seem in any way affected, still with a soft smile resting on her features. Though her blue eyes were baring into him now, patient and sweetened by honesty. 

 

“Not really… Thought I’d check the mission desk… Do you want to join me?” It was a selfish offer, mainly because while she normally visited the graves today, he just didn’t want to see or even imagine another person plagued by grief today. 

 

As response she merely tucked the bouque she’d bought under her arm, and began walking beside him. They walked in silence, and Kakashi could not pretend that it wasn’t uncomfortable. But for now he was merely thankful she hadn’t asked how he was dealing with everything. The last thing he wanted was concern, or the pity that shadowed it. He glimpsed her scratching at her cheek in what he could presume to be a nervous habit. 

 

“I was wondering…” Looking a little more in her direction it was impossible not to note that she was playing with her hands, searching for the right words. “I know you don’t really do it, but, would you like to go on a date?... Sometime? Or you know, not, its okay.” Well, Kakashi thought to himself, that hadn’t been expected at all. Certainly he’d had been asked out many times, by one night stands and strangers, friends alike. However, most didn’t put on the ending part, often taking rejection as insult. Nevermind that most of his propersitions had been merely to get in his pants, or his mask. 

 

As far as he could remember, which was far, he had never actually been on a date. At least not one that was supposed to be taken as such. It would be as a new mission he hadn’t attempted before, it was worth it if only just for the attempt. “Sure, why not, it’ll be a new experince.” Was it the kindest answer, no, Kakashi knew it was not. But Nari-san took it well enough, smiling largely. He really couldn’t help comparing her to Naruto, even if that shook at his mind, and tore at forbidden memories. 

 

Before he could speak something else, for his own sake. They came across a sight, it seemed one of the Legendary Sannin had returned. Many women threatening the Sage with their sandles. Kakashi had something painful clentch within at the sight, knowing what was up and coming. Considering his position, he felt obligated in this, more so as he didn’t wan’t the Lady Hokage to deal with it, and burden herself further. 

 

He looked to Nari, willing her with his eyes to wait, she seemed to understand his silent communication. A solem nod given at his direction, stilling, and clutching her flowers close to her chest, eyes now on the ground. It seemed she knew of the connection they’d shared Kakashi surmised. 

 

A large and steading breath brought him forward to where the laughing man was. The guilt cutting into his throat, even if he hadn’t be there at the time. He knew of his own failure, and it was made more paramount by his past failings. Speaking to Jiraiya would be as telling Tsunade had been like. 

 

Kakashi dared not think of Iruka and what the entire conversation had devolved into. 

 

He knew not if he was glad or in dread at the fact hat he was seen first. Suddenly unaware of how to approch the situation, yet doing so anyway, felt stupid. Jiraiya was smart enough to notice his unease however, which made it easier, and more pained at the same time. 

 

Kakashi didn’t know what he should say in this circumstance. Genius or not, it didn’t matter, he was clueless and afraid. “Kakashi, what’s wrong.” There was no question in his voice, just a demand to know. And the Jonin didn’t know what to reply with, surprising bonbarded with all of the concievable answers he could fathom. 

 

To steady himself, he gave a large sigh, overwhelmed by everything. He was being stared down by one of the Great Sanin, who’s height had never been more appearent then now. “Jiraiya-sama…” The elder man raised an eyebrow, it was ment to be humourous, but given his dispoistion, and the situation, it was anything but. “Naruto… Died in action.” The words clentched in his throat, stuck in his mouth, and fell from his lips only to stab at his abdomen. 

 

Across from him, Jiraiya looked like he was about to laugh at the joke. Kakashi couldn’t blame him, it sounded so stupid in reality. The man stopped though when he took in the expression on Kakashi’s face. A horrifed realization fell onto his features, his eyes blown so wide that all the wrinkles around his marked eyes were stretched to their limit. The red lines underneath were pulled downwards with his lax lips, frozen in a face of utter disbelief. Kakashi interupted his expression as that of a man who had lost everything. 

 

That is. Before a harsh anger replaced everything, a deathly glare focusing itself on Kakashi, and he couldn’t move away from the accusation there. Mainly because he couldn’t disagree with it. 

 

He had failed, and he knew it, Jiraiya knew it. 

 

He didn’t get a chance to say anything before he was meeting with a large fist in his face, and collapsing into the dirt, a scream ringing out behind him briefly. 

 

“You- You!” Something close to a growl slipped past any restraint the Toad Sanin had, standing over with hateful eyes. Hidden behind the tresses of such long and straggled hair, there were tears raining down his face. “I trusted you.” It was so quiet that he had almost missed the pained words. But Kakashi did not miss the second fist in his face as Jiraiya grabbed his turtleneck and hoisted him up to meet his furious gaze. “I trusted you to protect my Grandson! You can’t do that?! He was all I had! You bastard!” 

 

In a rule to keep himself from beating on his comrade it appeared, Kakashi banged his head on the ground as he was thrown down. The older man walking away with shaking shoulders, the burden of guilt and pain not leaving either of them, Kakashi knew that it was equally torturous for both of their hearts.

 

Hands tugged at his shirt, and he found them to be Nari’s, she was helping him up, despite her slight frame. Her eyes were cast over as Jiraiya’s had been, but her’s was from a different emotion. There was no anger in her gaze, there was sadness certainly -judging from the building wettness at the corners of her eyes.- But no, it was self-hatred. He couldn’t say why it was there, or how it involved what had happened. 

 

Kakashi just knew it was connected.  

 

Jiraiya, and Iruka. Two people who considered Naruto important, vastly, a Grandfather and a Father. They were special people in general, and Kakashi knew he had failed them both. He was good at failing, but he didn’t expect it to become the main ficture of his life. 


	2. Chapter 2

When I was a kid, I was idealistic. Understanding the law didn't matter, understanding people was even less significant. What should I care of persons who knew nothing of me?

Such tydings of thought only began to draw importance as my ambitions grew to big unto me. Those things I'd never considered, people, society: They suddenly became necessary for everything I had want to achieve.

When I was a kid, it had made sense to simply paint myself out as a boy; Because even if they claimed not to be, even if rules had changed and people were different. Women and Men were not treated on equal standing. Even in Konoha, who remained labelled as the second most progressive of the Great Nations -second only to Cloud-, there were so many expectations and limitations placed without a word spoken.

I hadn't understood, the value -or rather, the task imparted on me to prove such conceptions wrong. So many believed that kunoichi were better suited to the homemaking food and cleaning, so many people believed that a strong woman would somehow devalue a man.

When I was a kid, I just wanted to blend in and make the people of my village respect me. In my mind that wasn't a feet, I could achieve as a girl.

When I was a kid, I'd created a persona. It was safer then running about as myself, as soon as the Henge became a lesson in the academy and I'd learnt its place, I'd studied. Instead of throwing kunai at my textbooks, and burning them for warmth I'd actually read them.

Survival was more important then proving myself stubborn. I had studied the instructions, the words so adamantly, even attempting to imagine them absorbed into my skull. That had not been enough of course, in order to survive one had to adapt, even I, the fool, had known that. So I examined every female I could, older women, younger, my own age, just to see how they were treated in tandem. Eventually, I choose an age where I would be seen as young and frivolous, but mature enough to hold respect. I chose a disguise that was bold, yet average enough to blend into a crowd while also holding some intrigue.

I did not graduate from the academy on my first go as I'd hoped. But at least I'd been able to buy my own groceries as Nari without being treated as Uzumaki Naruto. I could speak to normal villagers in a kind voice without worrying about them hitting me with a harsh word for being a Jinchuuriki. It had been a comfort as a woman, people had seen a woman, not a demon murdering their kin.

When I was a kid. I had only hatred for my name, in a way, I hated my sex too.

* * *

Now, however, that mindset had shifted. Respect had borne within me as new trials I had never expected began to hold over me like ghosts. Beginning when the painful cramping following every month had stopped, only to be replaced by a churning lurch and need to get rid of everything I ate.

A month ago, I found a respect for myself and others of my own sex. An accident of my own wrongdoing. Sixteen years old and pregnant was something I had never accounted for, I suppose I'd simply forgotten that as a borne girl I could get pregnant.

Many things changed for me when I found that little plus sign, strawn so innocently on seven different sticks.

Firstly: I was going to become a Mother, that was a reality I came to accept rather fast. I've always wanted a family.

Second: Uzumaki Naruto had to die. I could not allow my child to be found out as  _his -as mine_ , they would be killed. The Village would hate them, they would grow up the same way I had. The Akatsuki would come after them, the council would make some outrageous demand. Kyuubi would do something. I couldn't fathom all the possibilities, so I didn't. But I knew that living as a boy was out.

The child wouldn't even know me as his Mother Naruto, but as Nari. In a way, it saddened me to do it, but my family was more important then any pride I could muster. This did not take my dreams away.

My goal is to be the most kickass Mother ever, single or not. While simultaneously climbing the ranks to become the most respected Shinobi I can. Even if that means restarting everything, I will do it, because as a woman, as a proud woman of the Hidden Leaf, I have to prove that I can.

At least as Nari I wouldn't be hated as the Jinchuuriki host. Nor would my child bare that burden.

Yet. I should not have gone about staging my death as I did. It was cruel.

* * *

He walked.

Jiraiya could think of nothing better to do. Many things were not coming to him at the moment as it were, emotions included. His mind merely a dull canvas that could be dyed any colour, though he had no consideration on how to do that.

Anger had surged so strongly before anything else, there was no sadness, no crippling emotional turmoil. It was all so hard to consider, binding him together at the moment was the lack of all, even that previously held anger. In a way of a veteran, it was comforting not to have anything resonating within.

The same understanding gave him such a strong knowledge that it  _would_  burn, everything would hurt soon. And once more his spirit would crack from all lost, the fire would do more this time then leave some scars. He walks knowing that, but still he keeps moving because its better for him then thinking.

Jiraiya doesn't want to think.

Kakashi, he thinks of the silver-haired man whom he should not have blamed.

Then the anger surges through him again, the way the man had told him. Jiraiya knows that Hatake had been involved somehow in-

He stops thinking, trying to remind himself that it would make everything come sooner. He wanted to stay numb as long as possible.

He ended up walking straight out of the gates, continuing on his way around even going within the Forest of Death and encountering nothing. Speaking honestly to himself he wished for something to try to rip at his flesh, wanting nothing more then the distraction it would provide for him.

Stepping so slowly as he tried to forget, failing pathetically as he remembered Minato his dear student. Minato and Kushina always so close and in need of each other in their own way keeping as each other's stability. Recalling the comfort in their faith, the smiles they dawned as they gave him the responsibility and trust of being their Naruto's Godfather. Still swimming in his thoughts Kushina's confident belief that Naruto would be a strong Kunoichi.

_"I know it dattebane!" Her eyes sparkling deeply as she turned to him, red hair a flame about her as she destroyed a training log, shurkin marking her deadly aim. Even pregnant she hadn't wanted to lose a step, such a strong woman. "She'll be a girl! No matter what Minato says!" She'd thrown a kunai splitting a clone, and flinching as it dispersed. "I know it, just like I know she'll be a peaceful person, as her parents and her spiritual Grandfather!"_

_Jiraiya remembered his own confusion here. He remembered blinking at her certainty and words. "Grandfather?"_

_Kushina had looked him straight in the eye, grinning so large he thought her cheeks would break. "You of course! Minato never told you?" She rolled her eyes then. "Shame on him!"_

It was a precious memory that Jiraiya had never let go of. He  _always_  smiled when he thought of Kushina being wrong about her baby, she would have been so frustrated over it. Now he couldn't even summon the will power to twitch his lips upwards.

The glare in his eyes drew his attention, finding it to be the light from one of the shops, the moon high in the sky. If he'd be anywhere else he would be dead by now. Jiraiya found that consideration didn't even give him pause.

He looked at the store, '24/Hour Convenience' It said. Whatever hour it was, he wanted a drink, and in opening the door he found that his nails had bit into his palms. Finding blood spotted about crescent shapes in his palms. Thinking, maybe his fists had felt for him.

The store was as him, dull and alive even though it shouldn't be. Missing visibly many products from the shelves. The large freezer took his feet there unconsciously, and he peered through the glass to see double popsicles.

He bought one absentmindedly.

Then he began walking again, instinct once more taking over, because the thought was still a thing he couldn't connect with for long at all.

Apparently, he hadn't been the only one finding themselves in a wandering mood. His eyes caught onto the slumping figure of the young academy instructor. A name that Naruto continuously shouted out in pride and affection. Umino Iruka, Jiraiya knew well enough from such reminders of the man's good nature. Naruto considered him a Father, he also remembered.

Something came back to him as he watched the young man stumble. His brown eyes were as dull, as his own felt. How must he be feeling now? Jiraiya wondered, he breathed in something deep, hoping it to be a strength, even as it felt more like the burn of pain then anything resembling will.

"Iruka." The man looked to him, and Jiraiya knew that they were in the same position. Iruka must have noticed it as well, for his face lost the stress it had taken on, concern marring his features. Jiraiya did not know how, but the expression made the situation worse.

"Jiraiya-sama..." Anything the man had want to say was lost as he seemed to lose any semblance of empathy. Falling himself, into despair once more. Jiraiya understood, what man could feel for another whence their own son has died? Choosing not to make comment, Jiraiya opened the package he had bought, stuffing the wrapping in the trash nearby.

The popsicle was cherry, a bright red. And as he broke it in two, something trained within him lost the fight. Losing and making everything come crashing unto him so suddenly he had no chance to stand straight to the onslaught.

So impactful was the clenching burn, so ridiculously harmful was the realization of his own failure that he didn't even feel his knees hitting the ground. As a dull thud to his thoughts, the tears he knew slid down his face in lost control were expected.

_"Jiraiya-chan. Do you not even wish to see the baby?" Sensei spoke to him in a broken voice, which Jiraiya found fitting as he wasn't all there._

_"I can't. Sensei. I didn't expect it to... I think I'm going to leave the village for a while." He hadn't meant to leave for so long._

Leaving his responsibilities, and running as a coward. He had wanted to watch Naruto grew up, but he kept getting in his own way. Thinking time to be free as the wind, endless, somehow thinking that it had waited on him. For Minato and Kushina's child wouldn't die right?

God, but Tsunade had always been right, Orochimaru too, he was the large fool and in him there was no pride unto that fact. He had long ignored his feelings for the woman he knew himself devout too, he had let his family down. What he had he'd lost to his own ignorance, Minato, Naruto, Kushina, his sensei, what else could fall?

Grandfather? Jiraiya felt more emotion escape at the thought, somehow beckoned from a pit he'd done away with long ago.

He was a pitiful man. Always gallivanting off to try to find destiny in useless abandon, it had brought him nothing but this. A stacking of failures, deaths sitting square upon him as the deserter of the Leaf.

"Jiraiya-sama?" The voice caught his attention even though nothing seemed to matter in his mind. Of course, it was Iruka, crying as he, but very much standing. "We shouldn't let ourselves wallow like this. He'd hate it."

The anger bit at him again, and any filter he may have held was broken along with his dam. "What do you know?" It came as a snarl as he rose, tripping on his own weight for a moment. It was irrational, and he had stopped caring. "I should have been here. I never am. What use am I." He had no insight to what he was saying anymore really, only knowing that it was so damn painful. "What use are any of you."

When had he handed off half of the popsicle?

It didn't matter to him, only that his feet hurt as he walked. The tears on his face were bitten by the cold air, the brush of the wind stung. And the sound of sobbing behind him stabbed bitterly at his heart the reminder of his failing.


	3. Chapter 3

The sky felt wrong.

That is the first thing I take note of in leaving my little apartment. There wasn't a foreboding sense in the air like that of an attack, there was no strain. People walked about as normal, I could see an obvious elevation on their faces that came as no surprise. However, the sky was bright with no clouds and the sun came down harshly in a demanding heat.

It felt wrong because of this as if no one was mourning my parting. As a child, before the academy and meeting Iruka, my mindset had been degenerate, naturally displaced into a hateful inclination. So, even then with a babysitter watching my movements I had contemplated running, I wouldn't have gotten far, but as long as I wasn't in a place with sneers I wouldn't have cared. The worst part of growing up bathed with the aura of distrust was how I fell to the same.

Here and now, my eyes still cast suspicious in expectation. Though I know as a civilian, more so as a woman, I pose no thought of harm. This, I knew, because when I'd created Nari it had been in an assurance that my village would no longer see me with distrust, still it plagues me slightly to know that I had been correct in my knowledge. A deep, hidden, section of my psyche was hopeful that they would actually care for the loss of a shinobi devout to the Konoha. No luck of course, even in my 'death,' hatred for my status still reigned predominant.

Today was an odd one for me though. Perhaps most did not know of it, or merely had no care for the occasion. However, today, under the sunny, sickly hot sky, was the funeral of one Uzumaki Naruto. I had never taken into account that I would be attending my own laying of rest, none did. I expect not many people to be in attendance, I think I would be the only citizen. Already the black dress I'm wearing feels too heavy, weighted with guilt and heated under the light.

It had already been two weeks since Jiraiya punched Kakashi in the face. Although apparently, he hadn't left the village, none of the resident Jonin have seen him. And I think it has begun to affect Kakashi, from what I knew of my old teacher he wasn't easily swayed by a person's opinion. Though as I try to take his mind off it during our dates, he closes up occasionally into a place where I cannot reach him. In candour, I cannot reason why, perhaps it's some form of guilt, the same that I harbour, or merely the feeling of a comrade ruined. Either way, I have been keeping my eye out for the pervert with no luck so far.

Addressing him after the ceremony would be tacky at best, though it might be all the options left to me. Jiraiya has always had a knack for disappearing if he doesn't wish to be found. -Probably how he peeks in all those bathhouses without ever getting caught.-

Luck addressed me today, apparently she, as everyone else in this village seems particularly inclined to Nari as well. For I spot him, making very slow progress to the cemetery not far from me. Though my gut sinks into something foul at the way he looks, standing just enough to not be called slouching, there's a thin line in place of his smile, and his hair is down blowing freely with any wind that could catch it. As any in attendance, he wears all black clothing, though he unlike everyone else has a haori over his shoulders.

I've known him so long now, he is to me what a grandfather would be to everyone else, more then a teacher. To see him desolate and void of joy as was his constant companion, it was more then a little disorienting. Shaking myself I ran over to him, one person, I conceited with myself. At first, that was going to be Iruka-sensei, but that man got flustered far too quickly and the nature of the secret made it one not to be disclosed.

I slowed, recalling that I would be attending a funeral and being over-exuberant before the event would irritate my friends. Or past friends rather.

"Jiraiya-sama," I forced myself to address him properly, he did not know me. Though he had all the manner of a man not wishing to be disturbed, and with that same amount of patience he looked to me. "I would like to talk to you after the ceremony if you would? It's about Naruto-kun." Saying my own name was strange for a multitude of reasons. Though it accomplished its goal, I grasped his attention, and even if he was glaring in suspicion, he nodded sharply before moving past me without a word. It was the best I could hope for given the situation.

I followed behind him, watching the depression about the place as it made the air viscus.

No one stood tall, with the exception of Lee who seemed determined to flood the grounds with tears along with Gai. His teammates were off to his side, appearing rather perturbed, though even so Neji had thin lips and tightly clasped hands, his hair wasn't tied. Tenten seemed to be petting his shoulder, her hair was out of its usual shape too.

Looking about no one's hair was up in a style, I suppose it must be a type of sentimental thing, an unspoken protocol. One that I am not currently following. Nervously, I quickly undid my upward ponytail and let it lay on my back, honestly rather similar to Ero-sennin's.

I had probably copied him absentmindedly because of his influence over my life, that said, my hair is naturally spiked regardless.

This henge was slightly special, I hadn't changed it much from what I'd made it as a child. But I had used a rather hidden technique not frequently performed because of how much chakra it consumed. Basically, the technique simply allowed the user to change certain factors of their appearance based on their genetics -therefore unbreakable by enemy shinobi-, so for me, that meant red hair, blue eyes, and tan toned skin. -Uzumaki genetics taking predominance this time, rather then my father's sunshine blond.- In essence, it was not a mere henge, but a henge that lay over my very own DNA and fooled them into thinking I had my Mother's hair rather then my Father's. The particulars, both escape and bore me.

Needless to say, as is, no one will recognize me now, even in a place filled completely with my friends and comrades. For one Uzumaki Naruto had been a male to them, with whisker marks and a muscled figure, accompanied by a boisterous personality. While Nari is a female, with clear skin and a slender nearly willowy figure, along with a full bust -that is slightly painful and at least a hundred centimetres, the best part of playing male was being able to keep them bound-. Given this, I doubt anyone would look to me and have a sudden realization of just who I am.

Even so, there is a select group of people I want to go up to and blurt everything to. Truth can be painful, and that sobering truth is simple; they would not understand my reasoning. Those whom I had grown up with were forbidden to know anything involving Kyuubi, so how the village treated me? It would make no sense to them.

Sakura stands with Kakashi, Ino on her other side along with Shikamaru and Choji. I can't see her well from the middle row, but the shaking of her shoulders is indicative enough. I can see the small back of Konohamaru as well standing in front of uncle Asuma who for once isn't smoking. So many faces I know and respect, and undoubtedly I stand out as a sore thumb. All I am here and now is a vague acquaintance to the Jonin, who is nye always at the flower shop once a week or the graveyard, with the bright red hair of an Uzumaki.

No one spoke as Tsunade went forward, bowing and everyone else followed, naturally I copied them, and as we rose as a collective we all began to pray. One at a time, each of everyone walked to the grave, from what I could see they all spoke something and forced a smile. I cannot speak of experience as the only funeral I attended was that of the Third, and that had been entirely different to this.

My turn was basically a mockery.

Moving past Iruka-sensei was awful. He couldn't seem to stand at all, swaying in place with a vacant stare to the ground and tears unrestrained. His hands were shaking and he had his arms clasped around his torso, a hug that was a warm an embrace as he could manage. That rattled me slightly, and I think I froze in place just looking to him and wanting so badly to reach out. There was nothing I could do though, and I focused instead on the same ground he stared at in desperation not to say anything.

Everything felt dragged out. Maybe it was the silence, the peaceful respect for the dead -persona- and needed mourning. The conflict I had fought against my judgement, this farce was a painful blemish unto those I care for. No matter how necessary it is for my unborn child, the sacrifice in face of so much tragedy could not seem worth it.

Honestly, the atmosphere reminds me vividly of being a young kid again. Not that boy who ran around making a fool of himself for fun and some type -any type- of attention. No, but the little girl that sat on her bed and wondered with dread at how she would pay for her next meal, who held her legs close to her in both a need for warmth and comfort. An air of pitiful self-pity and want for better, an embittering sorrow that served no purpose. That is what this remained, something useless.

When everyone left, I found myself lingering, casting and baring my gaze into the false grave before me, holding nothing but lies. Almost wishing I could go back and change everything so that none would need to feel such despair. But my hand wandered to my belly slightly bloated at three months, sharply defining my child's needs as far more important. Indeed, being a woman would be far different from what I was used to, but then, women were treated far better then a Jinchuuriki.

"So what do you want?" The tone startled me. Before turning, I knew, of course, it was Jiraiya-sensei, but to hear him so cold… Was so wrong, as if his personality had completely flipped from what I knew of it. That did not make me less prone to telling him everything. I needed one solid, concrete ally just in case my plan went ass up and completely blew up in my face. Even if I managed to get into a proper relationship with Kakashi -besides being the Mother of his child, he would turn on me for the sake of Konoha if it came to it.

The pervert would no doubt do the same, however, he would be able to reveal the truth and vouch for it if I could not. He knew of my loyalties. For lack of a kind term, Jiraiya is one of the best spies within Konoha, outside of the Root organization. He would keep my secrets better then anyone. The personal connection helps as well.

"I'm here because you said it involved… the brat, what's this about?" Cutting straight to the chase instead of diverting with fanfare. I suppose that can only be expected. Still, I don't particularly want to say anything out loud, the ears of the village are more then vast. As one continuously monitored by ANBU for most of their childhood, one learns fast not to trust the surrounding trees.

That considered, I was a documented civilian of Konoha with no history of violence, and Jiraiya is a noted loyal shinobi with no reason to rebel. The trees would likely not be concerned nor interested or listening to this conversation as it were. Still… My caution and child take priority, and I found myself walking closer to him so that I may whisper. He tensed, naturally, but not back away.

"My stomach… has an Eight Trigram Seal." He pauses, then he backs away slowly, shaking himself. Of all responses, that was probably the one I least expected. That was one of the best things I could find to prove myself as who I claimed. From what I understand no one can perform that seal without death following, as the Fourth Hokage had done mine. But maybe I needed to provide further, things that only I or he would know, there weren't many. "You have a tattoo on your left palm. You suck at Genjutsu, you hate kiwi fruits, your almost six-three… I brought you a curvaceous watermelon to tr-"

I stop as he hugs me. Its a tight fit, but its warm and something in me screams contentment. I hadn't gotten many honest hugs in my time, none as a child, maybe one as a teenager from Sakura. Though that was all I could seem to recall, and wasn't that a depressing statement. So, It takes me a moment to hold him back, not quite certain how the entire ordeal worked exactly.

"Why the hell are you-" Despite the tears, I can hear hitching his voice, I laugh a little, only because of all of it, this was what I most dreaded explaining my reasoning. In a candid approach, he hadn't been around when the abuse by the villagers had been at its worse. Nor had he stayed about when I was being harassed at thirteen, by the time I was older things settled down, and he saw a calmer side of their hatred, a colder side. Which is part of the reason why I dread speaking to him about my worries; my logic in being Nari rather then Naruto. The fact he hadn't already bolted to tell Tsunade was a testament to how much he trusted me.

"I can't talk about it here sensei, come to my apartment?" After creating Nari, I had invested in renting into a different, less poor apartment building. Not shockingly by becoming anyone other then whom I was born as the prices seemed to dramatically drop and I could make myself an actual home rather then the one I was given. I needed one, after all, a civilian girl -later woman- entering the 'demon's' house would be scandalous. He nodded against my shoulder, though he let go reluctantly. The tears on his face, I tried hard to ignore, as he did.

In walking there, I had to remind myself to take the right path, not the one I normally took to reach my crappy apartment. But the one I took to go home, the clean one with the painted walls, comfortable rose patterned sofa and a large cabinet with dainty flowered china that the one of the elderly woman next door had given me. Home, with a door that gave me an actual bedroom. The entire complex was unspokenly devoted to Grandmothers and Widows, with a few old men scattered among them, I happened to be the only young resident. I couldn't say I minded that.

Jiraiya meanwhile seemed determined not to let me leave his direct line of sight, or stray an arm's length away, as he stayed firm to my left side, vigilant. Arriving was strange too, though more humouring then anything embarrassing or overbearing. He stumbled three times on the stairs in attempting to squeeze his large frame next to my willowy five-four one. Though I did end up near roaring with laughter as he accidentally grabbed my boob, then recoiled and in doing so, almost falling completely down.

I think the tea I had stored was a bit of a palm for him after that. No matter how funny it had been to watch him be semi-modest and fumbling, there was a serious discussion up-and-coming that I in no way feel prepared for. I sit down opposite him with the same lack of grace I've always had. Nearly uplifting the table as my legs flew out. "Naruto-"

"Nari." I hasted to correct, having my name spoken out loud usually came as a bad omen. At least within the village. "Don't use that name Ero-sennin. It just gets me into trouble." Not that I was a stranger to that, still for the sake of the farce, its best that I continuously stay in Konoha's good graces, even when officially become a shinobi -again.- I get a raised eyebrow, and a large over exaggerated heaving sigh. Before he settles and takes on his lecturing posture, firm face, crossed arms, and tall stance, I know it well.

"Nari. You do know what you've done right? How serious this is? Because if this is just some prank its not a good one." I honestly want to slap him for that, no matter the logical bases behind it.

"I was never cruel with my pranks." I barely stop myself from yelling. "And no, this is not a prank… Something happened and it gave me no choice." My hardened tone was lost halfway through my sentence. While my hand was forced by my pregnancy, I didn't regret my decision to keep the baby or choosing to have a family rather then living as a lonely boy.

"What forced your hand?" My turn to sigh. I could do with some ramen right now, but I have none in my cupboard at the moment. My cup is threatening to spill from my hand not from nerves, but because I'm burning in sweat.

"Because I was stupid." That wasn't a lie, I shouldn't have slept with Kakashi, amazing that one time resulted in pregnancy. Though in my defence, I hadn't gone to the kunoichi only classes in the academy -which is extremely sexist, they didn't even have a Seduction Class for boys- so the lesson of condoms or contraceptives was foreign, and something I found out about only  _after_ I found out I was expecting and decided to research things. He gave me a look and a scoff, saying without words what I already knew him to be thinking. "I-" I freeze, I really don't want to tell him.

The cup in front of me looks far more interesting then the necessary conversation before me. There wasn't anything I could do to avoid telling him, though I can go around it a bit.

"First thing you need to know: I'm actually a girl. Not a boy. All those times I used Sexy Jutsu on you, that wasn't just a projection of me as a woman, it was basically me when older, and if I let my hair grow out fully." Though I had grown it out to Nari's length and just put a henge overtop when I was Naruto.

Looking to my mentor he was battling the information it seemed, making various different facial expressions. "So that huge rack… is real?" Of course, he'd ask that.

"Yes pervert, they're my actual breasts, and before you ask I'm a 36DDD, its annoying as hell, for your information." It was hard to find bras that fit for one thing, and occasionally I would get back pains, though it was becoming rarer.

I hear his teeth click shut, its honestly funny how well I know him. He scratches at his cheek, I don't know what he was expecting, that I'd henged myself with larger boobs? Actually, he probably did think that. Knowing him, he most likely thinks that women compete with each other over how large our breasts are, as some sort of female pride or ranking of value. While I never lived truly like a girl before, from what I've observed that not something that genuinely happens, no matter how many men think the contrary. "So why did you need to become- or you know actually be yourself as a woman? Couldn't you just come out as Naruto, was it that you were just afraid of the backlash? Why hide it in the first place?"

Super-pervert status or not, Jiraiya is skilled at knowing when it was inappropriate to be perverted, both in circumstance to the woman he's perving on, or if the situation he's faced with is actually serious. "Partially, but it wasn't just that. People hate, truly hate Uzumaki Naruto, it was far too dangerous. I think that explains why I hid my gender pretty well, but everyone just kind of thought I was a boy, I simply rolled with it. Safer then them thinking I purposefully tricked them, people are sensitive to that sort of thing. So yes, the backlash to both of the last questions."

"And the first?" Him treading lightly was different, though not entirely unwelcome.

Then again, I still end up hesitating, I want to not explain stronger then ever.

"I was stupid, and because of it I ended up pregnant." I watched as all movement he made abruptly stopped, the cup paused to his lips, and his eyes were looking beyond me into something I could not explain. He was stock still until his hand twitched and the cup in his hand shattered.

"You're what?!" I opened my mouth to explain, there was nothing else to do, but he didn't seem to be finished. "Wait, wait, you had sex?! With who?!" He was standing now, leaning over the table and staring into my soul with a baffled expression. I choose to stay silent, as he seemed to calm himself. "I'm sorry Nar- Nari. I- I'm not angry at you, just…" For once nearly acting his age he sighed heavily appearing worn.

"I know its a shock but…"

"It's not just that. You're sixteen, single -I think, you're also posing as a citizen which means people are less likely to be kind to you for being unmarried or in a relationship while pregnant." I hadn't considered any of that. While I had looked into several of the possible circumstances and problems that could arise, being considered as a whore had never been one of them. As an unmarried shinobi, I would have had to deal with the mockery and disgust from the clans, while as a citizen I would be spared from that to my fellows I would be scorned as a slut who spread her legs to easily. Anything was a better option then being Uzumaki Naruto and having my baby, but I still didn't want my child to be laughed at for having 'a whore mother.' Traditional beliefs were common in Konoha, still, this hadn't occurred to me.

I feel a little lost now.

"Though…" He speaks again. "Technically speaking I am from a noble clan, the main family unfortunately. Most people here don't know that because I don't wear their kamon." I want to ask many questions, but most poised on my tongue is why that mattered. Clearly, he hadn't considered it in years, and it didn't seem important to him. "If I claimed you -and I actually claimed my own heritage- as a relative it would offer you protection, might even invoke some fear into whatever dead bastard decided to knock you up." While I really don't appreciate the thought of Kakashi-sensei being scared shitless, the idea of belonging does appeal.

"You don't mind claiming me as a relative?" That was a little jarring.

"You are family, blood or not." I ignore the tears I feel at that, and the strange scrunching my face is making in a stupid amount of emotion. "It's up to you how you want to be related, though I'd suggest a closer relationship for more credibility. Whatever you pick, I can make it sound plausible." I think.

There hadn't exactly been many opportunities for me to craft my own family as I wished. Though it didn't take long for me to decide. He's one of the few people I value without measure, and as I have the choice, well there's no point in me hesitating. That considered, I really don't know how he'll react to my suggestion, he might be offended.

"Would you mind- I could be… Your daughter?" I manage to glimpse at him as he stutters to a halt. He's been doing that a lot today, I almost want to take it back. I shouldn't have said it in the first place, it could be marked only as a selfish desire for a family. "Sorry, that's.." The ground looks so much more appealing.

He hugs my head. "I don't mind at all." Warm.

* * *

It took a while before either of us could let go of the other because there was a need for comfort burrowed within both of us that had us clinging tightly and wanting to cry. On one hand, I was happily accepting my new role as Jiraiya's daughter, and therefore my new family expanded further then merely the life growing within me. Sure, as far as my logic goes I have two Dad's now, -though Iruka-sensei had never officially welcomed me, nevertheless we both knew where things stood- besides, it doesn't matter, either way, one doesn't need a mother to be happy. On the other hand, I know that Jiraiya was holding himself away from the emotion, by the way, he clasped me in a hug and refused to let go, by the shaking of his shoulders that I clung to.

Once we parted though he turns his back and leaned over the table, in a way of privacy, I ignored it and made some coffee this time. The illusion of invigoration would be enough to ease both of us from the emotionally draining we'd just experienced. I think more then anything we were simply glad for each other's company, from dead to alive, from master and student to father and daughter. The comfort of company was needed.

I presented the coffee with three sugars and milk for me, and black for my guest. He disliked foodstuffs that were dull in flavour. I preferred sweet and savoury things, though I wasn't exactly picky with what I ate, having raised myself poor. As evidenced finely by my addiction to ramen and want for cheap prices over nutritional value, something pointed out to me by Kakashi-sensei within the first week of knowing me.

"What clan am I joining then?" It'd probably be a good thing to know, as both he and I will likely need to wear their kamon for posterity sake. He takes the coffee gladly and sits instead on my couch with a great flop, I join, though not with his amount of flopage. "And why don't you bare the clan name?"

"Officially speaking my name is Ogata Jai. They're an ancient clan and filled to the brim with a bunch of traditionalist old bastards who think that a woman would faint at the sight of a kunai. My parents were killed in the Second Great Shinobi War -something I wasn't exactly sad for-, and as a potential asset, and member of a proud and ancient shinobi clan I was transferred to Konoha as a sign of trust in our alliance. As soon as my boon as a political asset was played I asked the newly established Sandaime to drop my name from the record. Luckily as my sensei, he had a soft spot for my want to be separate from my clan, and did so." There was more to be said, but he didn't seem to be willing to expose more, for such an extrovert, he can be very private about his past in certain cases, as I already knew. Even so, he largely sighed and looked as if he'd swallowed something vile.

"I was the son of the Patriarch's brother, meaning I was in the branch house. However, just barely. Shortly after the War news came that the head family had all be slain, making me next in line as clan head. I declined my position in order to remain in Konoha. It put the clan elders into a tissy I'll tell you that, but despite them not wanting an 'impure' Ogata in the role, my distant cousin ended up taking my position." Jiraiya stopped there, though I was curious.

"Your name is Jai?" That almost made me laugh. "As in the Jaybird?" Now I was imagining him with feathers, and cultivating the image of a peacock. He pouted and smacked me over the head as I ended up snickering.

"Let me rephrase, my name  _was_ Jai _._  When I got to Konoha I distanced myself pretty fast from my affiliation and made sure everyone called me Jiraiya instead. I didn't want to lean on my clan's reputation, or even be known as one of them, they were pretty famous with not only their battle skill, but also their misogyny, and I strongly disagreed with those beliefs. I didn't want to be associated with them at all. Actually, when I was around twenty I found out that one of my students -later known as the Yondaime- and I were related. My Mother had been from the Namikaze clan, and it turned out that Minato was one of my second cousins." Well, that was not what I had expected. I wonder what kind of revelation that had been.

He swings his arm over me, and as usual, I nearly bulk under the weight. "So I was thinking we could spin a story of me being -ahem- frivolous with your fake mother sometime at the end of the third great war. Stating that there had been word had spread that both of you had been killed in some of the three-year skirmishes that followed. The war itself was around twenty years ago so I was thirty-four, meaning you would be nineteen now. If we use those ages, then I can claim I knew you for three years before word of your death got to me. That way they'll be less likely to doubt the claim. War is messy after all, many of the records are lost during the bloodshed. We could also say you're from Uzumaki heritage as their village was destroyed in the 3rd war, and nearly all of her were people slain." That seemed a little cruel to do, regardless of my actual name being Uzumaki. Then again, I would have to at least provide my Mother's name if I am going to claim myself as his daughter. I had also aged up by three years.

"Alright, so what should I say my mother's name was?" Both of us sat in thought, then the most amusing thing I could think of hit my mind, and it would work perfectly. "Uzumaki Erizabesu, no one will question it as she's one of the main characters in Icha-Icha Paradise." He pouts at me, and the smirk that crosses me is unintentional but very mocking, I have to rejoice that he gets such a grumpy face at my smug attitude.

"Fine!" His hands fly up and I have to move fast for them not to smack me directly in the face. Then, of course, he has to destroy the comfortable humour. "So, who is the Father?" I flinch away from his side, a reaction which has him pulling me back, firmly. I didn't expect him to let it go, still, I hadn't wanted him to mention it for a while. Maybe forget and go home without even mentioning it. That, was slightly optimistic of me I'll admit. "You are going to make him take responsibility right? Impregnating a young teenager is grounds for reprimand if he is a shinobi." He wasn't hiding the fact that he's threatening the Father of my baby. I wouldn't say it angered me, but I certainly didn't like it.

"I haven't told him yet, but I've asked him out to discuss it."

"And he is?..." My mentor was not going to let this slide, and I suppose I have no choice but to tell him.

"Hatake Kakashi." As he yanks up, my hair gets pulled with his handguard, it triggers a faint yelp in spite of my shinobi training not to react to pain.

"That son of a bitch! What was he thinking?!" Outrage spilt over as with his coffee, his fist was uncomfortably close to my wall. I never heard him swear before, I always thought he was against it.

"In his defense, he was drunk at the time, and I was a very willing participant." Wasn't that embarrassing as hell to say? "And I was Nari during the whole ordeal so.." The sage in his fury made a disgusted sound at the back of his throat. I made a face myself. "You asked why not be Naruto. Well, it would put my child in danger from the villagers and I couldn't risk that. What I'm saying is; I want this baby, and I was willing to sacrifice all my bonds, and my career in order to protect them from that. I don't care who the Father is, I don't care if Kakashi doesn't want anything to do with their life, because I want and am completely willing to be a kunoichi, and single Mother if needed." My life and everything that I am would be devoted unto them, and I couldn't bring myself to think it foolish. Even if I never told Jiraiya, I would've still kept the baby and worked hard to give them everything I hadn't. I would've quit the shinobi life and lived working at one of the shops to support them.

Talking, and telling my mentor had been the easy route and I choose it selfishly. If he hadn't been in the village at the time I would have done everything myself. Maybe it's cowardly of me to hide as Nari, to kill Naruto and everything I had built as him, but my decision was not one I could ever hope to regret. And I think he sees that as I speak because he smiles at me. "Don't worry Nari, I'll make sure to be around for your baby. I messed up as your Godfather, but I swear that I won't as your Father." He winks.

I smile, its extremely comforting to have a solid weight to support me. He was even resorting to reconnecting with the clan he hated just to help me out. This family would work, even if the baby's Father wants nothing to do with his child.


	4. Chapter 4

Having been newly established as my Father, Jiraiya had gone to register me as his into the records. No need for subterfuge, as both of us were pretending to have just found each other once more. I was on my way to the academy, and while I certainly did not wish to go there and face my other self-proclaimed Father. It was necessary, I still need to register as a shinobi, and unlike children being put into the program, adults are given a bit of leeway to learn the basics. Which is near perfect for me, being as I can simply claim that I learnt from my Father and Mother the ways of a ninja.

I was greeted upon entering, again something I was unused to. "Hello, how can I help you?" I smiled at the kindly man, attempting to keep in mind the words I had to say.

"Good morning. I'd like to register for shinobi training." The man gave a sharp 'ah,' before shuffling a stack of papers and grabbing one of the with a tug. Taking out a pen, I assumed it to be a form of some sort.

"Alright Miss, you are from Konoha right?" I had to refrain myself from gulping at that, my story would have to be exact and perfectly refined.

"I was not born here no, I was born in Uzushiogakure, which was an allied village of Konohagakure, and I moved here to find my Father who has lived here nearly all his life." Praying that my own lifeline would line up with what was considered suitable here. We were being a little frivolous with our storytelling, but it was plausible at least.

"I see… Do you have a clan name then?" Pointedly looking to my hair, and I took that as my farce being successful.

"My Okaa-san was an Uzumaki, but I didn't know her long, she died shortly after the Third War. I wandered around after that…" For a moment of un-shinobi like behaviour he appeared sympathetic to the death I had not truly faced. My own want to accept any pity was a strange one, but I had to push it away. "My Otou-san is a Ogata, I heard word that he lived in Konohagakure, so I moved here a few years ago to find him. I'm lucky I did, as he's usually away." Blinking a moment, he wrote something down, though I moved to see what it was he did not allow me too. He picked the page up and read over some things invisible to me. I choose to sit down on one of the uncomfortable wooden chairs nearby.

It had been many years since I've willfully stepped into the academy grounds, not even to see Iruka-sensei. Too many bad memories clouded the place in my opinion.

"Registration number, and age?" I was lucky enough to have one of those as Nari, seen as everyone only ever got one. But old man Hokage had been kind enough to understand my need, and had given me one. Though I don't expect he anticipated I'd use it for this.

"Nine, four, seven, eight, eight, nine, zero, one. And I am nineteen." To this he smiled. I suppose he had gotten suspicious of me for a bit there. Not surprising considering my shaking origins. It's not as if I am unused to people distrusting me.

"Parents names?" Here was the risk.

"Uzumaki Erizabesu, and Ogata Jiraiya or Jai, as was his birth name." Earning only a minor response as the man drew back and stared at me. I certainly look like an Uzumaki, so there is no issue for that claim, however, I was stating to be of Jiraiya's linage -nevermind that he was a descendant of the Ogata clan.- I pretended to be confused, it seemed to be the best course of action given circumstance. "Is something wrong?"

The man spoke cautious, but seemed to not be in want of killing me at the moment. A reassurance, admittingly I am not entirely adapt at having with strangers, never truly dealing with anything more lengthy then a brief exchange of goods as Nari. I suppose I will have to quickly adjust to myself with this skin, for if I do not then they will realize something is wrong, even with one of the Sannin vouching for me. I do wish, I could speak with my friendships, but they all think me dead, and they must continue to think that, no matter how selfish my desires become.

"Ahem," A loud cough, which I do suppose to be the best I can expect at the moment. Even if he doesn't believe me, there will be enough proof soon. A soothing balm onto me that, as if I did not have Jiraiya's support then I would be flying freely with no idea what I'm doing. This is a dangerous play. "Do you have any previous shinobi training?" I tried not to snort at the question, this was a standardized interrogation, it was mandatory. That did not make it any less unnecessary.

"Not much, my Father taught me a little before he returned to Konoha. My Mother trained me only slightly before she passed." I hadn't exactly been physically capable according to the allotted timeline. Still, I did need to give myself some wiggle room, as I wasn't exactly untrained due to being Naruto for so long. Again he wrote, it really did feel as if I were an enemy rather then a potential shinobi. "I did move to Konoha quite a while ago." He nodded absently.

"Well, I'll confirm with the Hokage Office that you are a registered resident. After that you can begin Genin training, or take the test to see where you place. Is there anything else?" I was about to deny, before I almost smacked myself in realization.

"Actually yes, I'm currently pregnant, so I was wondering how I…" I wasn't certain how to phrase it, luckily he seemed to understand well enough.

"Well, you can continue your training quite normally, but you won't get put onto any missions after becoming Genin until you've had your baby. Just a necessary precaution miss." I couldn't say it was a bad idea, for it wasn't, but I don't know how I will be able to pay rent or get food if I have no method of work. It seems that in order to manage I will have to do something else, rather then ninja work. Not a too challenging task, I'd done so as Naruto before, and no one had wanted to hire him. Though, it will have to be something less strenuous then the manual labor I had done then.

Honestly, being pregnant did complicate most things didn't it? Although at least I have the comfort that Jiraiya will be remaining in Konoha for a bit, a nice balm on my soul to have his support. Though, I will admit my own negligence in telling Kakashi is a little uncouth of me, more then even, as the man has every right to know. Should I be more of an honest and trusting person I would have informed Tsunade, however, that was on a-need-to-know-bases. Even if my Father was adamantly against my hesitation. Of course he trusted her implicitly, she being his old teammate and all.

I bowed as well as I could, as I had never truly been taught the proper method. Yet another thing I must for force myself into learning. In leaving I ran into a familiar face, or lack thereof if I am to be accurate. Kakashi-sensei stood before me nearly just outside of the academy. No book out and a surprised expression in seeing me.

"Ah, Nari-kun, I didn't expect to see you today." An attempt at smiling was given, though he did not seem entirely capable of the action presently. His eyes felt short of their full curvature and his lips made no move to upturn as normal.

"Kakashi-san! What a pleasant surprise! Are you heading into the academy?" I gave a fake smile myself, knowing that my abilities of deception are much more extensive then I am presently letting on.

He peered around me seemingly not having realized his position in the village, and I had to take that as a no. "Oh yes, I was wondering when you're available?" We hadn't exactly set a date, and with him being a known procrastinator, along with myself as a bit of an avoider when applicable, it would be best to simply have a time to stick too.

"Well, I am pretty busy tomorrow, so would later tonight work? Say six?" Thinking to myself, and listing all the things I'd need to do before hand, it did throw me into a slight worry.

"Six could work, though it does depend on what we'd be doing?" My closet is rather barren, and shopping for clothes was not something I normally did or had want to do.

"I was thinking just a nice walk could work." That gave a relief, I could dress for a walk without much issue. Although, I'm not certain if I would be able to ask Jiraiya what to wear. He is currently confusing me, one moment I am being told to tell Kakashi about the baby, the next that I should punch him in his teeth. It still confounded me which he actively wanted me to choose. Maybe I'd just leave the second option to him, while I focus on the first.

"That sounds great! I'll meet you in front of the Hokage building then!" Grinning at him now, as relief bathed my mind, I waved while walking away to go join my new Father figure -new was rather subjective though, he had been for many years as it were.- Now I just have to make sure that everything had gone smoothly in the registration office, and that my parentage is actually put down rather then the workers there simply saying they'd done it but not having done so. It had happened before, and long story very short, my trust issues were cropping up again.

To me however, going on a date with an old sensei is a bit odd. It wasn't as if age was really a factor, not really, merely that he had taught me for many years and I do know him, not to a friendship status perhaps, but at least a teacher-student one that was stronger then most. I forced myself to remember, rather reluctantly, that I did have sex with him, so it was more of a I-banged-you-but-you-dont-know-I-am-actually-your-ex-student- relationship, which admittedly was probably worse. It sounded almost conniving, worst part of it all, if everything goes my way we'd be raising a child together without him ever knowing of my true hailings.

"Nari-san!" Snapping my hair up, and away from my face, I took note of the fact that Ino was talking, not shocking as I spend a lot of time getting flowers here for differing graves. Ino had actually developed into a friend recently, and it was a relationship I was quite glad for. "How are you today?" Smiling in return, and forcing myself to forget the strange guilt raising up. Also to be kindhearted as Nari normally was with the Yamanaka heir. It wasn't too difficult a task as the girl remained a pleasant person regardless of persona, though admittedly she did think Naruto an idiot for several years, despite this she was extremely generous in her words at his funeral -which I appreciate greatly, and thus elevates my opinion of the kunoichi.-

Perhaps appropriate that I should run into her, as of all persons I know under this persona, she would be the best to give me fashion advice. Might even find joy in the questioning, while I could only imagine myself giving a half-hearted and dread ridden answer. Fashion remains the subject I least understand.

"Actually Ino-san, I wonder if you could help me out?" Her surprise seems obvious to me, though I cannot fathom why. Blinking, she continues to organize some flowers, looking for obstructions on the leaves or petals. "I have a casual date tonight, and I have no clue what to wear. Any ideas?" As the owner of many proud and diverse plants, the sight of her satisfaction at lack of findings is more then a little understandable. Though she does take a moment to grin at me in what can only be construed as a devious smile. Certainly plotting my downfall, at my own request I should mention.

"Obviously I'll help! But you're gonna have to let me into your closet!" With her ultimate goal revealed, I for one had to concede, along with avoid her sweeping hug -a feat which I did not succeed in. I got grasped and held tight for a moment of unfamiliar comfort. Albeit recently it has become more a comfortable experience. Why my asking made her so joyous I will probably never fully understand. "Yay! Lead the way!" This is where I bulked, immediately, this sounded daunting. Afterall my first priority was to meet with Jiraiya. Not that he would care either way…

Relenting, I let her link our elbows, and stirred her towards my apartment. Best option clear ahead of me.

Unexpectedly Ino gaped at my home with a certain stance of disbelief in my living there, for why I cannot say. Maybe I seem like the type to live in a cheap hut or something. A reasonable assumption, in compliance with how my clothes are falling ragged, holes about the pulled fabric, along with astrayed drifting seams and threads floating about in the wind. Especially for someone as Ino; used to shopping every other week, with money enough from her clan to pay easily for comfortable living. I do wish I could be that assured.

Once inside, the blonde makes a beeline for my bedroom, and the fortunate walk-in this apartment came with. It almost forces a giggle out of me at her eager nature. "Would you like something to drink Ino? Tea or coffee? I have milk too." Hospitality had not mattered extensively when growing up, as I had no one wanting of my company, nor did I want anyone seeing the drab place I lived and horrid people about me.

Her head poked out briefly, though her hair swished out first as if it held life. Before wide ice eyes landed on me. "Some tea would be appreciated, if you have Jasmine?" Then her visage was gone once more, and I left to make the desired beverage.

Not long after though, came a bellow: "Nari-kun! Do you have any clothes that aren't falling apart?!" Now embarrassment decorated my neck colourfully. Because of course not.

"Well, no…" Whispering 'I could never afford any.' Clothing was expensive, and my living funds were definitely not enough to belly a shopping trip. Certainly not anymore, as I wasn't getting one at all since Naruto had died. The girl jumped out of my room with a flourish, and a grace I could never hope to possess. Grasping harshly on my wrist, pulling me out of my own home. "Uh, Ino-san?" Her actions confused me.

"I'm taking you shopping! Don't worry you can pay me back." Winking, there was nothing for me to say, it was more then a little generous then I was used to, and we were only friends so it was overly kind of her. Albeit the Yamanaka heir had always been extensively kind, just not unto those who annoyed her. I had as a male, perhaps it was mere perception of her demeanor, it wasn't as if I had interacted with her as Naruto often.

In following her lead we ended up at a shop I hadn't bothered to try and go into for many years even, in my fake form. Mere understanding clouding my judgement of the establishment, the employees and owners of this particular store were cruel. More so then the typical civilian. Actually going so far as dragging me out of the store by the hair when I had been five years old. Leaving an impression unto me that made me fearful. Thus, I avoided it, even as Nari. My favourite, and only orange hoodie had been ripped in addition to the treatment inflicted.

So I hesitated in entering, regardless of her firm and relentless grip on my wrist. Still, I wasn't being released, and we entered despite my slight drawing back -which she didn't seem to notice.- While my reasoning is made out of personal experience, that does not make it any less illogical.

We were met by a sales assistant, a kind looking man with short black hair in a respectable long sleeved sweater, with long black pants. "Welcome! Can I help you find anything today?" Knowing the store as I did, I gave one of my best small smiles as Ino replied for me.

"No, no that's alright, thank you though." He gave a short nod as we continued onwards. Though venturing further felt more like a dangerous destination then anywhere I had want to go. "Purple I think." I heard her mumble as she glanced briefly at me. Dragging us into a particular isle, filled only with trousers and skirts, with little else, the occasional belt perhaps. All civilian in appearance, nothing of shinobi standards, which does make my fighting side do backward flips away. Ino in her eagerness, did not take notice merely sweeping through the miles of clothing strawn out on the rack with the eye of a woman starved. Lips pulled into such a tight line that I could hardly see the pink gloss she wore.

Much to my own dread, her delicate hands pulled out a long and wind sweeping skirt of beige tone. It has only been a handful of times I had found myself wearing a skirt of any kind. The mind of a shinobi naturally takes to the decision that it is an unwise piece of attire, and should not be worn in a potentially dangerous situation. That considered, as Nari, Kakashi would think me a civilian, and within our village I should theoretically be safe. Of all persons, Kakashi would be one I trust almost implicitly to keep me safe from any threat.

Yet, so stark stands my want for complete safety. This, a reality I know to be nonexistent.

Wearing a long skirt does nothing but give me modesty within my own home village.

Ino seems satisfied with her choice, nodding happily and tossing it to me along with two others: a light pink one along with a fern green. She flips her hair as she turns, a smug smirk in place, and I -not for the first time,- wish for her confidence. While she had not been my teammate she, unlike Sakura, had a sense about her that attracted my want for friendship. Maybe someday I will be able to put it into proper perspective.

I am lead into warm shirts and jumpers this time, turtleneck, comfortable clothing. Immediately she pulls out a collared knitted lilac toned and lined sweater, I could comfortably wear this without displaying any of my chest. A desire for chastity I tried my best to not openly present. She handed it to me with a twinkle.

"Wear this purple one, and the beige skirt for your date." That statement made nerves rise inside, should I do so, my bra-line would show underneath. Even though I would rather keep such intimate details to myself, surely I could say something to Ino? Hesitantly speaking I said as much.

With little thought given she seemed to have a solution ready. "We'll look for some bras don't worry. I think a sports bra would work best for you.." My breasts got given a glance, rather clear as to why, though she didn't look bothered in the least. Then we continued forward.

Now, I recognise my own lack of shopping experience might be digging into my viewpoint. But I think that the numerous items we'd gotten already were enough for me to survive on for a while. Still, she seemed to have an unexplained want to go further. An alarm in me rings, as Ino turns to the more beauticious dresses on display.

Above-knee, down to the knee, to the ankle. Many different stylings and cuts, colours and shoulders. Some of them undoubtedly appealing. If they weren't so expensive perhaps I would have bought one, as it stands it would take me over three months to get the money to pay for it.

Beside, Ino grins largely, making me nervous. Should she force my wallet open on this I will owe her an amount unpayable. Instead, she says something I don't expect in the least. "Don't worry, this one is on me. Besides, every woman needs a fancy dress, just in case we get to go on that fancy date." It almost made me laugh, but I had to focus my mind, I need to decline her.

"Ino-kun, I couldn't possibly accept that kind of-" She waves it off rather uncaringly, flare she naturally held in her movements.

"Oh shush, that whole modesty thing ain't gonna work, you want one. So c'mon, tell me your ideal dress, I'll help you find something perfect!"

I conceded.

* * *

Kakashi could recall four things with stinging clarity:

His Father's body curled on the floor, dead and unmoving in any manner, ignoring his own begging.

Obito's crushed figure, spewing blood, and gurgling is words from his partially crushed throat.

The after moments of Rin's death, seeing about him so many dead and not knowing who had done it, screaming to Konoha reinforcements 'who neutralized the enemy?!' as they were arriving only after he woke.

Minato-sensei's corpse lay prone on the ground with a gaping hole in his torso, while Kushina in the same condition was alive -somehow- yet coughing and barely coherent. A babe had been screaming not far away.

Among all those things there had been no recollection of romance. Perhaps a brief, not understood attachment to his former teammate, crushed by the hole in her chest always freshly bleeding on his hand. A momentary fling of emotion he could hardly call a feeling at this point in his life.

Many friendships had encouraged him to attempt a romantic bonding, a recommendation he had never followed. From the many asking persons who had wanted to know his secrets. However, none of them had been civilian, certainly none that he had intercourse with -which were very few anyway.

Bidding himself to drop the chunin vest could not be called simple, though he would admit in the necessity. For all that he knew of Nari-kun: She remained a sweetened woman, a kind woman who cared as much -if not more- for her friendships and comrades then he did as she continuously went to the graves... as he did. Kakashi could say unto himself without regret that Nari was ignorant. This not an insult, but a truth, she did not know of the deaths he carried on him.

Kakashi did not want her to feel or see the bloodstains soaking him. For while he knew it to be an early judgement: He found, he rather liked her. Maybe this was in fact because of her lack of knowledge, in the ways of shinobi, or in his history; he didn't know which seemed more likely a placement for his mind.

In truth to himself, he could not know if any of this attempt would go well. He'd barely managed a simple clothing change, a grip on his chunin vest, and the feeling of vulnerability had left him in his usual attire. Only having discarding the added padding of the green garment. From what he knew, women did not like that type of lacking effort.

"Oh! Kakashi-san! I thought you'd be late to be honest! I uh, brought a book and everything." She was sitting comfortable on a bench nearby, with wide open eyes that quickly morphed into a pleased grin. He wondered at her expectation for a moment, mind always processing into a shinobi point of view, before discarding any suspicious cropping up. Smiling instead at her genuine happiness to his arrival, his eye drawing to the now closed book on her lap, not recognizing it from the back alone.

Not that he had expected something like Icha-Icha.

Then blinking when her clothing finally registered, she had dressed up, casual perhaps, but not an outfit he had ever before seen her wear. A lilac coloured, modest turtleneck, paired with a simple beige long skirt. Her hair was also down, reaching to the curve of her back. Again, reminding him starkly of Jiraiya.

She stood up tucking her book beneath her arm, still smiling, though something thoughtful rested there that he didn't understand.

"Anyway! Where we goin'?" Kakashi hadn't actually thought that far along, regardless of how his mind normally worked so strategically. Apparently, even if he hadn't felt it previously, he was nervous, as nothing came to mind, and he found his hand rising to scratch at his neck, it had his date laughing along with his embarrassment. "Na! No worries! I thought of a few spots I could take you, it'll give you a little bit of time to think on it."

Naturally he didn't argue, the compromise was convenient for both of them, and he was curious to know more about the woman. Especially as that was almost the entire point of a date. Nari-san was an interesting individual in general, he guessed that she had moved here from another village entirely, as he only started to catch glimpses of her red hair around seven or so years ago. Her visits to the grave were curious as well, though he did not want to delve into such a sensitive and morose topic. The interest she had in him also didn't make much sense.

They crossed by the riverside, the higher hill that Kakashi recognised to be a common path for academy students. From what he could readily remember, Sasuke had frequented the swimming dock below as a comfortable spot of contemplation. Nari-san, he noticed, sighed gently while he closed himself away from the thought of his former pupil. She was peering from the corner of her eye at the same spot he was. A memory danced across her face, just as quickly wiped away by force.

Instead of continuing in darkened thoughts, she made herself a light conversation. This, he said nothing to. "This is actually one of my favourite places to walk, weird I know. But I have good, or, well, I have a lot of memories attached to this place." Although the topic was opened, Kakashi didn't take it, it was obvious to his experienced eye; that while she was twisting it into pleasant remembrance, while what the recollection brought forward was in fact one of desolation.

In avoidance, she spoke onto another topic. "You know, I was a pretty lonely kid, no real friends that didn't want to use me for something or another. But when I was younger, I met someone like me, alone and scared. He was so strong despite everything, and I was so weak in comparison, I wanted so badly to be like that, to be like him. Unlike me, he wasn't really bullied. Now though… I guess, time changes all things huh?" Though it was mostly her speaking to herself. Kakashi found himself listening, the only person he had ever looked up to had been his father. Yet, he understood if only vaguely.

People left, through death, or betrayal, or a falling out. As a member of the ANBU, as a man past his life expectancy for a Jounin, that was something he got without trying. At some point, he'd even lost part of his own personality, and replaced it with a carefree one, as a blockage to any depression that crept up so readily.

"I understand." In a way, he missed his own ability to be completely detached, even his own stale viewing of rules and regulations. She stopped a moment, by the way her shoulders drew up, and the manner her hands twined together, he guessed at her nervousness.

"Did it get any better?" Her head had turned away from him, though the reasoning had been lost to the Jounin he ignored it. There was a reason for all questions asked.

"Not really. You either let them go, or you let yourself be dragged alongside." That was about all the wisdom he could offer. Experience or not, everything affected differently per person, but the choice remained rather stagnant.

"That sounds too simple. I would rather have it be complicated, then even if I can't save him, I can comfort myself somehow with excuses for it all."

Kakashi found himself pausing to stare at Nari.

Civilian or not, stranger or not, he understood her, and the empathy he was experienced was such a new sensation, he knew not what to do with it.

Even more rare: she seemed to understand him as well. The way they spoke was almost code for those enshrouded with hidden miseries.

A comfort unto him, as rare few could conceptualize his feelings. Perhaps unconscious on his part, yet he found himself walking slightly closer to the warmth she provided. If she noticed, no indication was made. They continued on for awhile in silence. Neither of them seemed to have a want to break the newfound understanding they had. During this, they passed by the old empty playground.

Nari did smile fully this time, rather then cover a sadness, Kakashi found himself doing so as well. While it hadn't been the best memories experienced at the place. At least, he could recall when his father would pick him up and both of them would occasionally eat out afterwards. There were flashes, few of them of when he, Rin, and Obito would all play together.

Normally the park would just remind him bitterly of when his Father had left, but this time it seemed a bit different. Oddly, it didn't take him long to realize that the only changed variable was Nari-san. Two instances weren't enough of a measurement, but Kakashi had to take note of the fact, when she was saddened by recollection, so was he, when she was happy about something remembered, he found a good memory to cling to.

"You're an odd one Nari-san." Her joyful giggle resonated in his head, no reason given as to why, even with his 'so-called,' genius intellect. It didn't seem like something most men or women would laugh to, then again, it was as he had said, she was odd.

"You think so? Probably! But y'know that's definitely the nicest insult I've ever gotten." Kakashi decided: That while he could understand her mentality, her personality would take a lot longer to comprehend. There was no person he could think of currently alive, who would laugh as if that were a compliment.

The book she held dropped from her grip. He caught it before she could, and took the chance to glance at the cover. "Ten Methods to Cure Morning Sickness." That caught his attention.

Any thoughts to her personality and his own responded unto it swiftly departed. Instead replaced by a nervous ticking feeling. The title of the book was more then intimidating, but Kakashi knew he shouldn't assume anything it could have been bought for a friend or family member. In a reasoning not fully brought forth in conscious thought, the silver-headed man acknowledged that was not her purpose in buying or reading it.

Words failed him verbally, despite the continual panicked ramble inside his mind. Finding himself merely staring at the woman before him, her expression was unreadable in its multitude of meanings. Watching her fist clench in a determined manner of control accompanied by the sigh she let fall, gave him an indication as to her mentality at the moment. Her special blue irises closed from his view, her face tightened in an indecision. Eyelids opened a slever, but she had turned her head towards the ground, away from his stare.

"I didn't mean for you to find like this. I thought I'd have more time… I um.." She was more then nervous, while she was sweating despite the cooling air, it was more then that, there was a stress and a fear inbedded in this. So, Kakashi attempted to force himself into a calmed mind. One of them had to be more relaxed then the other, and as it were neither of them were steady enough to speak properly.

He knew that this role would have to be filled by him.

There were many questions to ask, but mainly: "Are they mine?" Unfortunate to him that it sounded more strained then he had wanted. His emotions hadn't been settled yet, so he wasn't sure how to be feeling. Whether it was or it wasn't, he didn't have a position on how he would feel.

Nari snapped her head forward, now startled. Now she met him on equal ground as their eyes clashed. An anger resided in her defiant posturing. "Of course they are! I don't exactly go sleeping around!" Insulted, she ground her teeth. And while he didn't intend for that to sound so accusing, a resilience was beginning to form within, and he didn't want to disrupt the mounting strength. It would be best served continuing the conversation, and learning as much as he could about the situation. Forcing himself not to acknowledge that the baby was his own.

Though while he had the next question lined and ready, she spoke once more, pouting, from what he could see. "I didn't ask you out just because of the baby either, if that's what you're thinking. Well, that was part of it. But I do actually like you." Her cheeks flushed a gentle pink against her tanned cheeks. Arms crossed over her chest, embarrassment. Even so, she continued forward.

"Look, I know you may not want a child, nevermind a newborn, but I am not aborting. If you don't want anything to do with them, I get it, I really do, but this will be my child alone in that case. I've never had a real family before Kakashi-san. Things are only just beginning to come into place for me, and I'm not letting go of what I've got." Her eyes looked to him with a stone solid determination. "I want you to be a part of it too, I want you to have a place as this kid's Father." Breathing deeply she said nothing more. Arms still crossed, in a stern resilience.

Kakashi found himself less overwhelmed with her confidence displayed so plainly in front of his own anxiety. A clarity returning to him, emotional chaos no longer determining his thoughts. Giving him the clean mindset to look at the brave woman before him, and speak what he meant in truth.

"I," He gave himself a moment to consider everything he was putting oath to. Coming to the conclusion that it was indeed something he wanted eventually.

"I would like to be a Father Nari-san."

The grin she gave to him was sunshine bright.


	5. Chapter 5

The first steps to discussion are those I find to be strange.

The Father of my child is sitting at my dining table with his usual book opened, and not reading a word written. Instead he is staring to the far wall, not bothering with the charade he'd half-heartedly set up. It almost looks to be a glower, and I don't have the willpower to inquire on it. Not only because there was a threat hidden somewhere inside his normal eye, but because my mind is still twirling endlessly.

After getting through the torment caused by speaking on the avoided subject, we'd both retreated to my apartment. I'd volunteered to make a supper while we spoke on what we were going to do next. So far, I'd only gotten to the step of preparing the food offered, the two of us sitting in an unsettling silence.

It's hard to tell from what had been said so far, but I'm hoping that we can both try and make things work between us. I hope; that his intent isn't a simple single parental bases where we have shared custody, and the baby spends time at either house. As things are however, I don't know his position with everything yet, how he wants things to work.

Which is what makes this atmosphere so uncomfortable and infuriating at the same time. Because I cannot say anything to break it, whether that be a stupid joke or a serious conversation topic.

I have to stay focused on the meal I'm making for myself and for him. Its the best option, even if I'd mainly ate ramen most of my life, I had the basic enough skill to cook rice, boiling things and waiting isn't a challenging task. Though I bet Kakashi-sensei holds dominion over the chef area between the two of us.

I, at least, can make onigiri.

"Nari-san." His voice almost startles me into dropping the pot I hold, though I do turn safely, to see him looking at me. Replacing his glower is a gentle vulnerability I hadn't expected to ever see from my former teacher. That said, rather that, then a simple weakness in him, I also can't help but notice the serious air about him, taking over the man I know. Turning him instead into something I could actually envision to have place in the ANBU. Maybe it was my own shallow expectations of reality, but I never thought I would see such a coldness on him. Especially directed to me, my own ignorance, I know that is to be blamed. My mind had not depicted him within the cruelly minded ANBU that I knew as a child. "Was this the only reason you asked me out?"

Intimidation or not, he is good at making himself target practise. "No! I genuinely like you, jeez." Although in honesty it was at least part of the reason I'd looked to him at all. "Okay, honestly, it was partially. But that's because I knew you deserved to know, and I ended up looking at you more… Which made me like you more. It really wasn't planned or anything. I'm not that good of a forward thinker, just ask my Father." Once more, he made a pout crawl onto my face, and while it displaced the aura he had around him, my pride rejected it.

Glimpsing back at him though, that indignation feld, he is smiling at me. Genuinely glad that my motives hadn't been so selfish it seemed. I guess that would make sense wouldn't it? He's a good looking -handsome,- man. A powerful and respected shinobi, he would have faced many women and even men wanting to take advantage of that.

All of the devastating silence had eased, and now there's a pleasant calm in the room. Comforting even.

"Ma~ I've never asked, what is it that you do Nari-san?" I refrained from immediately spouting off that I am a shinobi, because that isn't true at the moment, and he would know that.

"Ah, I'm actually pursuing shinobi training. My Dad trained me when I was very young -and he was still around, it only just began to appeal." Sticking to a fabrication is harder then I considered it to be, if it wasn't done for the happiness of others and merely as a deception.

That earned me a look reminiscent of those given to  _Uzumaki_   _Naruto_. Disgustingly disapproving, judgemental in every sense. I cannot think myself in a position wherein I would be comfortable with such a stare, to many memories clung to it. In bitterness, I find myself glaring back to him. An anger coiling around my seal momentarily, although it was in truth something vastly more dangerous then a simple instinctive anger. I don't know why it made me so vindictive, perhaps because he, a shinobi, is judging my want to be a shinobi? I had dealt with that type of hypocrisy before from those within the village when I was entering the academy. But no, I know this to be different in nature. Putting me at ease, he seems to notice himself, and backs off by breaking his gaze.

I give him opportunity to elaborate, luck for him that he takes it quickly. "That would be dangerous to the baby wouldn't' it?" It wasn't an apology, and there was no hint of one hidden in it. Still, it soothed my frayed nerves, as it was at least an explanation. It hadn't been an actual question either, truly it had been a statement of fact. That was why I had earned a reproachful look, it had been a worry for the life inside me, not a critiquing stare.

I had to think for my response, fish for it really, because I didn't have the most options around Konoha. Though I had one swimming about in my head for a few days now. "Well, you're right, so I thought in the meantime I could work at Yamanaka's Flower Shop. I'm there plenty as it is. Besides, they have a special system for pregnant kunoichi in training, so no worries."

"Ah, good." That's all I'd expected from him. "You said your Father trained you, is he accepting of this?" No. Yet, I didn't say that directly to him, Jiraiya isn't entirely opposed. Though, he was unhappy, he acknowledged that it wasn't his decision.

"He's… Supportive of me." What other way was there to describe it? As it is a complicated situation, but there had been nothing more then a slight bit of enraged yelling.

"Ah, and your Mother?" Seeming attached wouldn't suit the fake circumstances, so I found myself shrugging instead as I cooked the prawns.

"Dead people don't have opinions I find." Technically my parents are dead, and having never met them I can't say I give a damn about what they'd think. I haven't once found myself looking at a decision bad or good and thinking about what my nonexistent parents would think of my actions. That type of indifference only lasting until I'd forged a bond with Iruka-sensei, and even more so after I trained with Jiraiya.

Then my remembrance kicked me right in the backside. My 'father,' would be coming back to the apartment tonight. I'd even made three servings of onigiri, he would be displeased, of Kakashi's presence. No matter how prevalent, both he and I were still at odds as to how the Father of my child should be treated and acknowledged. Even if I had brought the man here for discussion unto details, Jiraiya was likely to still have objection.

"Kakashi-san, my Father is actually-" As if mocking my own forgetfulness at that moment the man of topic walks in.

"Tadaima."On automatic, if unfamiliar, I respond, joyful and ignoring the situation before me in blissful childishness.

"Okaeri- Ne, Otosan-" All it took was a moment, though I had never seen my mentor become so stern so quickly. Typically, he would start with a joke in banter with a person he didn't like. Now though, he had converted from a satisfied little smile into a glare and a scowl without contemplation.

My luck, is horrid in truth, always challenging in opposition unto me I notice. From large problematic issues unto the smallest of details. Examples could extend from my birth, into the fact of my bad timing always choosing the rain as a travel companion. Now in this, pregnancy, my own idiocy, naturally resulting in such trial.

I watch, rather absent of thought, of plan, as Kakashi-sensei rises from his seat, though his expression is one of boredom as normal. I expect a different thought process, entirely not reflected by his present facial express. My own insistence is simple, they could not possibly fight here, indeed at all. Loyalist Konoha shinobi, both calm in disposition, joyful in reflection, effected in past.

Even so, I find myself in between them, looking for all I can in a face of disappointment. Jiraiya for his uncommon aggression frothing forth, and Kakashi for accepting the irritation from my father without reason. Still in my glancing at the silver Jounin I get an expectant gaze, and note to myself that he isn't aware, once more. Not sure, I bring my hands down to my pregnancy bulge, still not very large, small in comparison to those of four months -as expected, yet a comfort.

"Ahem, Kakashi-san, this is my Chichiue, I'm sure you're acquainted." I manage to fake myself out of absent mind with an obvious statement everyone could consider a joke. In the present atmosphere, it comes off as stale. Forcing my eyes to the food rather then my guest and my 'father,' interacting. Though, being a shinobi in spirit, if not in truth, I still eavesdrop.

As expect there is a stagnant silence holding everyone still. I'm not looking to them, but I know at least that Kakashi is held by shock. No one, despite his reputation, would think Ero-sennin had a child, let alone a man having known Jiraiya almost all his life. For a moment, I can feel eyes resting on me.

"If I remember right-" The eyes leave, but the feeling lingers in discomfort. "You were suicidal for several years Kakashi. Understand, if you put that same pain that your Father bestowed on you, I will not hesitate to take action. I only just found my daughter again, if you make her die again-" Here is where I found myself turning back to both of them, threat still present.

"Food is ready." I want to break this tension keeping the air so rigid. Not that my attempt seems to work well, as they are both staring each other down. Jiraiya in particular has himself put into a category of hostility, while my former sensei maintains a stiff stance both of defense and in hesitance. "Don't worry there's enough for all four of us! Why don't you guys go sit at the table and we can have a good meal. No threats involved." For a second, I thought my mentor would disagree, a harsh expression fixated on his face. Within a moment though he let lose a laugh ringing clear, nervously rubbing at his neck. Beside, I saw Kakashi ease his posture.

"Sorry, sorry, I got a little serious there. What's for dinner Nari-chan?" I feel my sigh overtake my body, same Jiraiya, he lets go of things so quickly.

"Onigari!"

* * *

Walking in the street in this form is always surreal. There is an absence from myself, knowing that I am not who I claim, and yet acknowledging its necessity for survival. Still, I have expectation of harsh glares resting, and whispers congealing in my ears, disparities. Regardless of my farce, I do take notice of the gathering not far from me at Ichiraku, despite not being Naruto, the smile that creeps onto my face is large. My former classmates are all there, and it is warming to know I had some positive relationships.

Spotting Sakura-chan does give me a little pause. There's something disparaging in her eyes, they are clouded and instead of interacting she's quiet, away from the others. I could try to comfort her, its certainly what I want to do, but I have nothing to say. She doesn't know Nari, and its best she think me dead. That does not make it any less cruel unto her. Losing both her teammates, and watching both leave her to pursue something else. One death -at least in her perception of it,- the other, a revenge, all while she remains behind. If the option had been there I think I would have wanted her to be my doctor. Unfortunately, it wouldn't have been a good choice. For one, most shinobi medics were trained to detect chakra, she would know who I am instantly. Secondly, she is not an obstetrician, and lastly; the least people who are aware the better it is for me.

"Nari-san?" It surprises me to see Kakashi nearby, not intermingling with the group ahead, but instead behind me. And as so common with him, his face is kept in a bored disinterest. I think it rather telling to my state of mind that I say nothing to respond. Normally, I would be loud and joyful to distract myself and him from any pained inclination I may have. In a momentary lapse of judgement, in thought, I speak out with the first think I can think:

"Sakura-chan isn't okay." I want to take the words back as soon as they slip past, not only are they strange from the standpoint of his perception, but it breaks away at my guise. Equal in painful understanding, the desolation of Iruka sitting beside her among them all. Even though he is trying desperately to hold an appearance of extroversion. I recognize it only from experience, despite his being rather well crafted. For the barest of moments, I feel Kakashi's hand on my shoulder, this knowing he is not one for physical contact.

"Ah, she's lost a lot." My eyes end up drifting to him, and naturally I see what I had expected. Anguish that I had put there, myself, and Sasuke; regardless of how many years that had been. The very same that my former teammate feels presently. Guilt, even in all its necessity always screams up your throat.

"I'm sorry." It was weak, and pitiful, but as it was now, all I had to offer. As anticipated, as reasonable, he says nothing back. Yet, his gaze shifts from the road, to my own abdomen. To where the growing fetus rests, our future child. Naturally, I cannot read his expression, covered as it is, still his palm touches onto my stomach and I see something soften. Its a comfort, more then even, as I know now his position is truely with keeping this child, a gentle compassion blooming in him I'd never bore witness to before. "...Kakashi-san?" I get no response. A sigh? If that counts. Before he turns to my old favourite hole, and joins all my previously dear held friends.

I wish I understood him better.

In looking to Rookie 9, I get gifted with an idea. Perhaps I can, in asking his previous ex-classmates. Or at least the friendships he has now if not them. I know at least one of them, as he pledges himself to continuously out matching my sensei. Certainly, if anyone were to know about his past it would be Gai-sensei. That is, if he can recall any details, the man is rather poor in his memory according to Tenten. In finding him my best bet would be looking inside the training grounds, or the dango shop which I spot him frequent.

At one last glance back to the grieving man, I wonder if this should be the right decision, as it may be driven in impulse. Even still, could I consider it justified under the pretext of my impending Motherhood? If not that, I had cause, for the reason of our relationship progressing in proper order. Honestly I'm not certain that offers me clearance for prying into Kakashi's past, regardless of our mutual -as Naruto- one, and his existence as my 'not-yet-boyfriend.'

Though I do have private moments where I wish him to be a more extroverted individual. Naturally, that is product if my own upbringing and personality as the proclaimed 'knucklehead,' of Konoha.

In a second of uncertainty Kakashi managed to find my gaze, and it catches me off guard. I expected him to let me be with my thoughts as he joined the students he'd helped teach. Yet, I note something there almost invisible in previous or maybe it hadn't been present before; but, theres a shimmer in his eye that I don't recognize. I simply don't even know how I would categorize it. Obviously, I am no great expert on my very illusive former teacher, but I knew him well enough to understand most of the expressions he has. This, is not one of them

I want to have response, but as I open my mouth with something I cannot name on my tongue. The rest of the gathered party turn to look at me as well. Sakura included, which has my mouth snapping shut in an instant. My mind still doesn't know how to confront her after my betrayal.

However, as soon as I recognize that my mind snaps open and a revelation comes onto me with a violent force. Painful, as it slaps away my ignorance in a stance of obvious realization. It should have presented itself to me sooner, it was so simple. So, even with all my former friends still looking to me, I can talk to Sakura. Because I have to.

I walk to her, trying to smile, if only to elevate my own emotions from such intense guilt. I get nothing in return, but her green eyes are wide, even in hollow appearance while her expression marks only fear wallowed in confusion. It makes me uncomfortable in a way I have never experienced before, as I have never had the problem of social interaction being put onto me in mass. However, in me I know my own responsibilities, it is not to ignore those about me whom I care about merely because it is convenient. Or even, if they don't know who I am, as someone who loves them, I should always seek out their happiness even if it brings discomfort to me.

This is example of that exam I must take.

"Sakura-chan," It was improper, and personalised; though in this situation, I think it best to use an honourific she can gain remembrance from. "I knew Naruto-kun very well. You were like a sister to him, and he valued you highly. Your strength as a woman."

I had wanted for a long time to learn as she did, crash through stones with power, heal everyone with precision. In the academy she had been friends with everyone, with long blossom hair, happiness, and top rational grades in study, she had been as an idol to me. Something to aspire to as a woman. While as Sasuke had maintained my resolve as a shinobi, exemplifying exactly what I should work towards in technique and prowess. And I had never disclosed that to either of them, cowardly until it was too late. Now, I have to say for myself, and for the girl I truly care for and idolized.

"No, it was as a smart kunoichi, shinobi. He wanted to be like you, I hope you could see that." It was difficult, more then I thought it would be, the words came out strangled, choked by my own tongue. "The same with Sasuke. Maybe it won't help, but I know he always wanted to tell you: He idolized you and him." A crooked way to disclose something so important, yet, the only true method I presently have given my own circumstance. I put myself here, and therefore I have to comfort her as Nari, speaking as Naruto.

My expectations are low, but she seems to see value in what I said because a fragile smile breaks upon her, and her eyes regain something glittering in their emerald beauty. This has me doing the same, on an equal scale and I'm happy to note even Kakashi brightened slightly as well.

"You were at his funeral." Neji states, and that is what it was. I hadn't thought many had regarded me that day, I'd been separated -purposefully- from everyone else. Of course, he had, considering he and the entire Hyuuga clan were adapt to always noticing every detail in commandment of their missions. Hinata probably had as well, though given her personality, admitting that she'd seen me in addition to her cousin would be an invasion of privacy in her view.

"Hai, Ogata Nari." Despite my own hesitation in speaking to them, I had managed to disregard myself and accept the interaction for how it had come to be. That is, through my own push of self. Here is where Shikamaru takes to lifting his head from the countertop where he'd lay it to sleep. Putting his attention directly onto me, which does make me a little nervous, considering his genius capacity. I know, if he had the inclination, him or his father could find out the truth. I've known him far before we were teenagers, he would be able to connect any resemblance to Naruto.

I feel the pressure of a corner inclose. This is where one should find quick escape, no one desires to be questioned by a Nara when holding secrets. A lesson I had learned as a playing child struggling for food. Same basic circumstance, though, presently, I am not so ignorant.

Though, perhaps in sensing or witnessing my discomfort Shikamaru takes the opportunity to speak over my strain. Not in a way resembling comfort. I know that no one else would have noticed -maybe Chouji or Ino, if adapt.- but in knowing him for as long as I have. I know that he means this as an interrogation of who I am.

"How would you have known Naruto?" He stands, overlooking me and using height to an advantage. "He was alone. Honestly, he didn't even trust people when he was a kid. Avoided most kids his age-" Something only he knew had him bite his tongue, and begin a fierce glare directed to me; as the perceived cause. "-So, how the hell would you know him?" I'd trusted Shikamaru. In adolescence, in childhood, I had not spoken truth unto him, never given myself away to his eyes, but I had known him well enough as a kid to allow him to know me as an individual. Simply, not as a woman -a girl. Frankly, that risk was one I could not take.

Individuals, friends, examine and respect one another. Therefore, as he had seen me, I had also come to know him. Which was how I came to the conclusion he was sexist to an extent nearly undetectable.

Inlaying somewhat in how I find myself standing before all my former classmates, rather then among them.

Maybe thats why my mind turns to a defensive, an aggressive stance against the intended accusation. "We met accidentally. I doubt you guys would understand it, but if we hadn't met both of us would be dead right now. To be very blunt, we would have starved if not for each other." A half truth I should not have said despite my aggravation. Even so, they don't say anything, and I have to think its because they have no evidence to prove me wrong.

Before anyone can angrily outcry to me, Sakura slightly steps forward. Upon her a serious inflection, lips drawn inward with eyes glinting with steal appearance. "Do you know how he died Nari-san?" Something cracks in her voice, I want to voice it out, along with the method of death I had been witness too. Yet, I can do neither, it was not a piece of information my facade was supposed to know. She continues with my silence as indication. "Stupidly. As an idiot."

"Sakura." To my surprise its Kakashi who interrupts her, further, he's glaring harshly through her as if her transparent anger had made her invisible in conjunction. I do not know what occurred to make her fierce once more, but her expression is equal in ferocity as his, perhaps not staring through him, but rather, burning his skin in a manner none but she can see. His mind must give him a memory because of it, for his gaze drops first, to his hand, and it clenches in a reflex.

I know he won't understand my reasoning, but my guilt drives me to comfort him. Nari's hands are delicate, not christened with scars of battles, or made dangerous with tinges of blood as gloves. My fingers are soft and slim with long nails, and a palm made soft from civil work. I put my hand to his clenched one, the opposite of my own, and do my best to slip my fingers between as to undo his fist. Naturally, I gain a look from him for it. It makes me understand slightly better. As I chance a glimpse at Sakura, her downwards glare now smoldering the dirt below her.

She blames Kakashi.

I doubt there is anything I could say that would dissuade her reasoning. Still, it is mandatory that I speak to one of them. Hardly an easy task at this point, my relationship with Sakura is completely one-sided, and Kakashi is the only one I can truly speak to. Even so, I don't want her to keep such a needless blame on her, our teacher, for the purpose of not faulting the dead.

The worst of it is my understanding of her anger. For were we in reverse positions, I may have held the same belief.

"Sakura-san, I don't-" I want to say more, but the stare she gives me is that of a jade knife. Similar to one I would have received had I dared slander Sasuke's good name.

"A chidori." Her eyes move again to the man beside me. "A chidori to the chest." Then she moves, keeping her fists by her, she leaves. Yet, she gives one final glaring eye to Kakashi before the curtain closes behind her, Kakashi not witness to the savage fury in her expression with fixated attention on the counter.

The fury gone once her lid closes. "Like an idiot."


	6. Chapter 6: Truth of Standing

Sakura became unfamiliar. To bare upon her the visage of a woman I knew, yet her persona became darkened. Clouding within her was the simple presence of depression emboldened by circumstance and laughing to me for any compassion I may harbour. The woman I have known through my growth became a girl who snapped to anger when provoked. Bowed to sadness in a weakness I had never associated with her, she had lost tranquillity, and I knew not how to aid her in reclaiming her forgone self.

As Nari I watched, gazed upon her as she struggled each day. A danger unto herself, not noticing the woman following her steps in concern. I near wanted her to, simply to punch me, confirm that the teammate I respect and cherish hadn’t left to depression yet. But she never did, merely continuing to walk about the village in desolation. Occasionally she would stop, momentarily to talk with a friend. Though the peace never lasted, she continued forth as if there was no further light to be found.

“Is there a reason you’re following my student?” Came a drawling Kakashi, no real concern lingering under his voice. Which I suppose is to be expected, I am a citizen of Konoha, a pregnant citizen of Konoha, with no real shinobi training to my name. He would have no cause to be concerned for her safety. Nevermind, his own lack of interest in anything at the moment.

“I’m just worried Kakashi-san, she looks so sad.”

“She just needs time Nari-kun. It takes a lot to deal with the death of a teammate.” I look to him and get nothing in response, he only gazes forward to where she walks. A lingering understanding presents itself to me from his astrayed eyes. Was this something he had dealt with before? The question stills me, and I find clenching hope within me that I am wrong in that inclination.

“Have you-” Despite myself, I find that his stare causes me to withdraw the culminating question. Smiling instead, and falsifying the atmosphere into one of a pleasant stillness. Attaching onto anything less horrific in nature. “Some young boys ran by my apartment today, they were screaming about a ghost.” I nearly planted a palm directly into my forehead for the lack of foresight I’d put into that sentence. Even so, with it already said, and little else to do but finish what I was saying: “I yelled ‘boo’ out of the open window in response, one of them screamed.” It was a stupid distraction.

I did gain a smile from the man beside me, in his own creepy way. I imagine him to be attempting to fool me from thinking anything wrong. Whatever my understanding, I had to take it for what he presented, so I gave to the urge, and smiled in response.

We seem so insolent, behaving as if we know of no wrong within the village, or have nothing to cry for in ourselves. Myself, a man, a woman, a person taken in by fooling others and casting shadows onto all I hold dear by ingraining a sadness I know the blade of. Kakashi, I cannot speak clear for, I do not know what he has been through, bad or good, but I know enough to acknowledge he has suffered and I’d layered onto that. We both are experienced actors in maintaining the appearance of happiness and peasantry.

Even so, with my understanding of our equal masks, I still want to find out a single truth of Kakashi. If only for the betterment of our relationship as future parents, if not as romantic partners;

One person of exuberance comes to mind who can grant me an answer.

* * *

I reach him unexpectedly with a slowed pace befitting of a citizen, but not him. From my knowing of him he hardly moves to a casual pace, always retaining himself upright to the conduct of one in a state of continual energy. I wonder at his ability occasionally, for I had been a man -as a man- of extreme dynamic persona, though I could not do as he. Woman or man, I do not, have not, the same skill as he does in order to prance from activity-to-activity.

Gai seems calmed, contained in his normal demeanour oddly enough. Walking normally through the streets, still with an embrightened smile -not as large as average,- happy but reserved. Its a conduct I never expected from him. Though he has no clue who I am -that is unless Kakashi told him, but I doubt that- so I can’t come off suspicious in my want for knowledge. I’m not certain, but I know at least that he needs to feel my ambition is for his rival’s benefit and not my own.

So, I put on a smile I know can reach people, and near skip towards him, my own confidence resting away from me in a separate village. Probably Uzushiogakure should I wager as Tsunade, though on that thought I would likely lose. “Gai-san!” I choose to remain close to Naruto’s personality, it was one I found Gai and Lee to conjoin with enthusiasm, alongside which, I would seem familiar.

Naturally reactive he turned to me in kind response. “Oh! Ohayo citizen!” He gave with exuberance, yet still, something in him seemed to hold off from his normal bold personality. Were I someone he knew, I could have asked if he was wronged in some way, but my choices led me to the path of restraint.

“Mochi, mochi! Na, you are a friend of Kakashi-kun’s right?” I know in honesty, I cannot put myself forward easily. Though I do not know him as Kakashi does, or as the fellow Jounin may, I do know he is protective of Kakashi. My knowledge of that is more out of witnessing their interactions then a verbal confirmation, but I do not need words speaking a truth I know unto me. Friends within the shinobi world are precious, especially those born in an earlier generation.

I’m certain that even without regard, Kakashi holds Gai to the same level of importance.

Again, in a display of uncharacteristic dynamic, he hesitated, but I believe that to be out of suspicion rather then his odd new mindset. “I like to think so! But why?” Presented with enthusiasm, yet, I had to note the caution in his posture now. Beginning to take further note of such displays as Nari rather then Naruto, for reasons unexplained.

“Ah, well there’s something I want to ask you actually. I figured you would know him best as his rival and all.” I can’t say that would be the best response. Gai is not a man I know the best of all the Jounin sensei about me as Naruto. Even so, flattery in certain respects tended to work, perhaps even better when bolstering his rivalry with Kakashi, as it was a fact of accomplishment he took great pride in.

Though, flattery is not my best tactic -I would be an awful seductress.-

“Well! I am! But I certainly cannot reveal confidential information to a stranger of my greatest rival!” That threw me slightly. I suppose it makes sense Kakashi wouldn’t have mentioned me to anyone yet, our relationship is still quite new. Still, I would have thought he would have said  _something_ to Gai at least! If not Yamato!

Then again, I never introduced myself, that could be the problem.

“Oh! Gomen-ne! I’m Ogata Nari. I think Kakashi-kun would have mentioned me to you?” I hope, came the mental additive. He shook his head however.

“I am afraid not Ogata-san!”

“Oh, well, I guess that’s to be expected. I’m his girlfriend you see?” I do believe my feelings for the silver haired man to be growing from vague interest, into actual compassion. Though his neglect for simple basic acknowledgement of relationship normalities is slightly insulting. Despite that, I cannot assume that he has been in many romances, so I should refrain from holding him to a high standard, as I might make similar mistakes. Regardless, being publicly expressed as a partner would be a kindness to uphold, knowledgable or not.

My goal however, is to speak to Gai as a woman looking for answers, not as an irate girlfriend for clarity. “Do you know if Kakashi-kun has been faced with a comrades death before?” Shock was not what I expected, the draw back, the fear he held from a question not involving of his own mentality. Yet, that is what happened, he became so different.

“He has. Too many times I’d say. Kakashi is a brave man, but-” Teeth clenching he said nothing further in that same direction. Though, even so, I got flashed a smile of courage. “Regardless Nari-san! I don’t think that is something a civilian such as yourself needs to hear!” Before I could give proper protest or explanation of my direction to become a shinobi, he flew to the rooftops. Strangely, I didn’t see him start a handstand or a difficult regimen of training, he didn’t so much as flip. Merely walked away calmly, as an average man. Perhaps I shouldn’t have expected a proper answer from the Taijutsu expert when he’s acting so oddly.

Maybe I should confront Lee to see if anything is bothering the man. I do hope not, Gai is usually such a bright personality within the village, it would be ashamed if this persona continued to plague him.

I wonder: Has Gai ever killed anyone?

* * *

An unexpected discussion came unto him from Gai with the approach of a friend, in the aggression of a rival, in eager anticipation. Kakashi avoided all attempt brought by the force ingrained within the expert confronting him, a need to challenge the Hatake he could not indulge. Albeit, Maito was educated in the manner of people well enough to acknowledge the disposition Kakashi held. Shifting himself -the other Jounin noted,- to a more casual stance rather then a fighting one.

Even with such companionship shown, the green stretched suit was lifting up in all the wrong places. A showcase of Gai’s own mindset, complicit with Kakashi’s own. Merely concealed for the benefit of both.

“My rival! Don’t be in dower spirits! We can engage in a friendly contest to take your mind from the problems it faces!” While the kind offer was placed Kakashi stood firm in his own mind, taken away from reality with the countless failures and indiscretions he had caused. It was not an intentional pondering either, simply a wandering of attention.

“Ma, Gai, do you ever wonder if what you see is real or not?” He received a stark confusion in response. So there, he found himself shaking away the thought, and moving to another. Remembrance this time, clarity in a sickening crunch of bone, and blood, and a scream across the distance -which he had taken time to realize they were his own at the time of the slaughter. Inside his chest, he had the same stilling desire to let out a roar of terror and anger, though here he held himself to a decorum. The silence within his ears did partake at least partially in that retainment.

Clearing sharp into a focus, so came the voice of Gai, speaking away the silence he had made in abstract thoughts. “My friend, I see you are fading into black, I can’t rescue you from that.” It was a soothing sentiment from a mind of kind tydings. Yet, there was a truth the Hatake knew to be unacknowledged by any other then himself.

For there were many to have felt the stinging betrayal of his failures. Both his teammates, along with his teacher, true to course so had his own student fallen. Friend knowing or not, Gai knew little, there wasn’t a gradual fading into blackness. His being was being plucked away by crows as he lay motionless, not much left for them to eat. To Kakashi, the understanding was simple all the continual pain had a justification.

Then came the brief and glimmering Nari appearing in his thoughts, more particular, what she held in her womb. In a way of a devout shinobi, he had never given time to the fact he may find himself in fatherhood. Perhaps Nari had never anticipated motherhood, at least not at an age so inexperienced. Her dad certainly hadn’t.

“Oh! Kakashi! I had a strange conversation with a lovely young woman today. She said is your girlfriend, is this true?” Remarkably calm, was the questioned asked, though out of his eye Kakashi watched as he gave a response.

“Well, she will be Gai.” There was little doubt in that admittance. At least in an attempt for their compatibility, in consideration of their upcoming child. There was the hidden spark of hope Kakashi maintained for his family unmade to be successful. With or without him as a contributor. 

“OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!! KAKASHI! YOU HAV-” In a quiet, but remarkably legible voice, he interrupted.

“ma, i’m going to be a father Gai.”

Again, there was a pause within the stale conversation as both processes the information.

Unshockingly, it became Gai who started first. However, with the demeanour of a calm gentleman, one who narry faced a situation of his own brash personality. Rather then the man who challenged the silver-headed man to a fight of wits every five minutes.

“I am glad. You deserve such joy.” Neither spoke to disturb the contented atmosphere.

Of all people Kakashi could disclose the information to his rival was the least expected. He knew this well. However, there were facts regarding the spandex-ed man that few others were aware of. In understanding this, one must acknowledge that Kakashi has remained an infamous Jounin of renowned skill within many, if not each nation. Continuing upon that was the hatred he had invoked from several organizations, along with individuals. Being of genius stature, Hatake knew this. As such, his caution had begun to exceed that extent of the Hokage’s -Tsunade being overprotective of any close to her.-

Here it became present in whom he was to inform of his upcoming parenthood. For if he should regale the news in vigorous paternal joy both his child and the mother of his child would be put into jeopardy. Hence the reasoning for his telling unto Gai, a man who knew what secret to hold and what to declare. Though certainly not of the prodigy status as Kakashi, Gai considered circumstances quite closely and adapted unto each in the mindset of a true genius of taijutsu. Naturally, he was, though not many would look to him and envision a man of particular skill.

* * *

The air is in a stinging mood today I find.

An omen as I see it, for all about me there is a char. Perhaps it is made more clear; as unexpectedly my breasts -in their irritating large form- run into someone while not paying close attention to my surroundings. That may be due to my own careless thoughtlessness as Nari. She didn’t have to worry as Naruto after all, she wasn’t mindful of an evil organization hunting her down, or villagers in a vindictive mindset.

So it is with that thought that I lift my head so swiftly, with so little care put into who I have run into. To my surprise, it is a violet haired beauty with turned down eyes and a simpering expression. One I know well to be the Hyuuga heiress a woman who I have recently begun to develop a profound respect for. Turning to me, she dawns a timid smile, though her shy way of speaking seems to have vanished near completely at this point, a reclusive personality still lingers, unfortunately.

As it appears she is to say something in response there is a noise ahead of us, this, made by two young men, citizens I can only imagine by their lack of weapons. Neither have the disposition of men knowledgeable on how to hold their own in a fight, clearly workers on a construction project, and judging by their muscles and bleeding fingernails probably subcontractors. I’d worked in that field enough to recognize the look it bestows onto the men and women unfortunate enough to qualify for nothing else: Such as Naruto Uzumaki.

Hinata tips her foot back, which I can only imagine to be the result of the garish whistle one of them had let loose. My own caution springs to action at the sound, for she is a chunin level shinobi, well qualified in her field; certainly not a medical ninja as Sakura. Therein, I worry at her fear coming forward when presented with two rather harmless looking men of the village. That is, builders whom I have probably worked with on an infrastructure project to help strive of my double taxes. However, she seems extremely cautious at their presence, to the extent wherein I would classify it as scared.

I wish to make a comfort of myself for her, problematic as she does not know well of me in this form. I am the one stranger who was at her friend’s funeral, yet, I have no special place to her. Therefore, I may simply appear as a woman of suspicion in her eyes.

“Oh, hello ladies, good afternoon.” Nothing sparks immediately, though I don’t need for it to be obvious, I just need to spot the reasoning behind her concern as soon as I can. Keeping up the farce is difficult, still, I hold myself with a polite smile in positivity. “A pleasant day for a stroll ain’t it?”

Hinata makes her place behind me, attempting to hold a strong facade with steel made lavender irises. The appearance is controversial, though I at least understand her want. “Hai. Say, can we help you with something?” My own knowledge of the situation is limited, but I do have enough experience as a shinobi to recognize that my companion is made fearful by those two men. One fact I remain in regard of, Hinata is a woman of fierce determination; however her conviction dictates a push, and one of harsh manners at that. Otherwise, she will stay a girl withheld by her own lack of self-worth. As Nari, this is not a shove I can provide to her, so as a friend whom she does not recognize: I will defend her, even if I do not see the danger in these men.

“Actually there is something.” I wait, though as if in a warning the babe coils within me as a strike of trepidation would. Behind me, she grasps at my arm. I look to her for an indication of why she is behaving as if they are a threat to a shinobi of her level. “Why don’t you come with me babe, and your cute friend there can go with my brother here. Don’t worry, we’ll pay you both up front.”

It does take me a moment to realize why he’s speaking as he is. Before it comes to me that he thinks we’re both prostitutes.

The fact raises an ire in me. Not because I think anyone beneath me, or judge them for what they do to live. Moreof, because I have never gone to such a level myself, it was one of the few jobs I had strayed from with valour. In accompaniment of that, perhaps in a stronger indignation: they had accused Hinata of being a woman of the street. Of all girls -or men,- I have ever known, she is the least likely to ever resort to such a tactic for money.

Due to it possibly being an innocent mistake I reign in the anger that springs upon me so quickly. “Sorry, but neither of us are in that business,” I pause a second, thinking for a moment of all the people of the street I have known in my life. “But if you are looking for something like that, I could suggest Campton St. There are plenty of women there who would be happy to serve you.” I couldn’t say for certain that they would be happy about it, but I do at least know that several women there do need the business provided.

Twining snears then twist over them at the information, reeling me backwards into Hinata slightly, the same apprehension the baby had gifted me previously had developed into a full warning. The man dictating the entire conversation taking the most offense from my honest answer, crossing his arms and taking up a stance of power. One none effective onto me, but the woman behind me flinches in recognition.

“That wasn’t really a question hotstuff. So, understand we can make this quite easy, or quite difficult. Now c’mon, wouldn’t you rather be moaning instead of making this so hard?” His entire disposition scares me. Though I recall vividly facing off against multiple criminals of notirity, this is worse in a way: Legally, I am not allowed to use any type of combat -that is shinobi training, against them, even in self-defense. Because that is defined as using ‘excessive aggressive shinobi tactics on civilians.’ A law I had been taught by one of my  _only_   _nice_  neighbours as Naruto before her passing.

Which meant no kunai, no shurkin, no punch, no kick, nothing I could do would be acceptable to fend them off. 

 


End file.
